Best And Worst Lyrics Analyzed

If there’s one thing Taylor Swift fans dislike most about The Life Of A Showgirlit’s the album’s lyrics. Swift seems to have taken a page out of Sabrina Carpenter’s bookbefore enlisting her to sing on the album’s title track, by making her songs pretty raunchy this time around.

Carpenter is known for including some inappropriate innuendos in her music, and Swift did the same, especially on her track “Wood.” Unfortunately, fans weren’t as accepting of it as they are with Carpenter. Instead, they found it inauthentic and cringey. Still, there are some lyrics on The Life Of A Showgirl that have grown on Swifties like a fungus. A good one though. Two ScreenRant music scribes battle it out in this Best Vs Worse Lyrics of Showgirl showdown… see what happens when our editorial gloves come off.

The Life Of A Showgirl: Worst Lyrics

Argued by ScreenRant’s senior music editor Sarah Polonsky

So let’s just start with the hard stuff (excess puns, spoiler alert). The Jackson 5-inspired track “Wood” is one of The Life Of A Showgirl‘s catchiest, especially if you can close your ears to the words. A synth-pop homage to funk and disco with nostalgic guitar riffs and horn arrangements that soar through speakers and land squarely in the sonic sweet spot. The problem is found solely in its lyrics, begging the question: does the world really need an entire tune dedicated to Travis Kelce’s erect little soldier? Not that I’ve seen itnor proclaim to know its girth! I’m just trying to keep up with Swift’s shamefully decipherable wood metaphor.

The lyric “his love was the key that opened my thighs” is one of the most criticized on the album. Meanwhile, the clean version of the song switched out thighs for skies actually feels a lot stronger. More solid, like wood should be. I’m just going to say what everyone is thinking: keys are super easy to copy, you’d be a fool not to have spares, especially when the fate of thigh-opening lingers—much like “The Fate of Ophelia” lingers for zero reasons on the album, mostly about all the sex and feels she’s having with her first future ex-husband (no worries, Tay! Ophelia totally got her man Hamlet to put a ring on it, and definitely didn’t drown herself).

While the Taylor Swift marketing machine runs on strategy, precision, and some truly unmatched brand hacks, fans have always been especially drawn to one signature move I call TayTay’s Track 5 Trickery. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s brilliantly simple: every Track 5 becomes said emotional pillar of a Swift album—a breakout moment that shines brighter than the rest of the still-sparkling (only less shiny) solar system around it. Hon showgirl, Track 5 trickery spell has been broken, totally shattered, the moment Swifties laid ears on, “Eldest Daughter.” The chorus: “I’m not a bad b***h, this isn’t savage,” is not only complain-y, but straight up lazy. Whining about how hard it is to be the firstborn daughter is no longer relevant to an engaged 35-year-old billionaire icon, or so I’d assume.

If I’m wrong, please comment so I can resume torturing my little brother (even though he’s 38). In fairness to Swift, she does manage to stay somewhat on brand with “Eldest Daughter”… someone with the maturity level of a 5-year-old definitely could have written it. She has used some online lyrics from her past music, like “receipts” in “I Did Something Bad,” and “taking shots” in “You Need To Calm Down,” but it didn’t hit the same this time around. Maybe it’s overkill, or maybe that kind of language just doesn’t resonate the way it did in the 2010s because (newsflash!) when it comes to time, it goes by, and the only constant is change.

“Actually Romantic” has also received some fiery opinions. The pop-rock production is a rollicking good time, but there are some questionable lyrics that make the joyride dry up fast. A quirky-pleasing bridge builds harmonically until we reach the last line: “It’s kind of making me wet”—record scratch moment.

Sura, we fully-grown women are genuinely happy for you, Tay—enjoy the glow-up and the newfound sexual satisfactionget it girl! But America’s Sweetheart probably shouldn’t be broadcasting the climate of her knickers to the world, especially with a fanbase full of pre-teens and parents now dealing with 8 year olds singing about getting “wet” on school buses from coast to coast. It’s up to the artist, of course, and as the artist of this article I say, you have a responsibility to your fans and that your orgasms. From one woman to another, one eldest daughter to another, one fiscally stable, bold-faced name to, well, Taylor Bloody Swift, there’s no reason to sacrifice good lyrics just because you’re tired from all the sex, call me. I’ll give you some tips.

Once again, the clean version of the song makes “Actually Romantic” more appealing, with the lyric changed to “sweat” instead. The fans have spoken: The Life Of A Showgirl totally makes them sweat, just in all the wrong ways and a lot of odd places.

The Life Of A Showgirl: Best Lyrics

Argued by ScreenRant’s dedicated music contributor Gina Rose Wurtz

There have been split opinions on “Opalite,” with some fans finding it childish and others thinking it’s fun. Thought, it’s the song’s bridge that is the strongest, even if it’s not “All Too Well” levels of impressive. The bridge lyrics, “this is just a storm inside a teacup“and”this is just a temporary speed bump,” reassure Swift’s partner that they will make it through the rough times.

However, even Swift does the best, her lyrics reach out into the world and can relate to any situation a listener is going through. Even if some people aren’t “Opalite” fans, the song offers a lot of hope in a world that needs it.

“Father Figure” also has some powerful lyrics. In a promotional interview for the album, Swift mentioned she was most proud of the lyric “I pay the check before it kisses the mahogany grain.” The song is full of metaphors and clever ways for the character in the song to show off their power and wealth.

It feels like a conversation between The Godfather characters Vito Corleone and his son Michael. While Swift has written about her masters situation in the past, like in folklore‘s “My Tears Ricochet,” she’s never written anything as comical as “Father Figure.”

However, of all the songs that have grown on fans since The Life Of A Showgirl‘s release, “Ruin The Friendship” seems to be the most popular. In many ways, it is the album’s strongest track. This is because it’s reminiscent of Swift’s earlier work with its lyricism and high school storylines, such as the incredibly heartbreaking take the tune centers around: Swift’s high school peer who passed away in his 20s.

“My advice is to always ruin the friendship better than regret it for all time,” is especially tugging at the heartstrings of those longing to admit their romantic feelings to friends even if they won’t be reciprocated. Maybe The Life Of A Showgirl doesn’t have folklore hrs evermore‘s poetic lyricism, but it’s not a complete lyrical disaster as some might have you think.