CAREGIVING: I BALANCE A FULL-TIME Job With Caring for My Mom and Teens

This as-told-tos Essay is based on a conversation with Karen Lee-coss, 53, who lives in north carolina. The mom of two teenagers takes care of 78 -ear-op mom ornd took care of her dad before he died. The following has been edited for Length and Clarity.

CAREGIVING FOR A PARENT IS A LOT LIKE BEING A PARENT YOURSELF. If you will make youth your children to day care or someone comes into the home to help, you’re still always on 24 hours a day.

I’ve been a full-time employs at a medical device company for eight years and have been caring for my parents for over 10 years. My mom got sick years ago, and my dad was her cargiver. When he got sick, of Became a Caregiver for Both. Be he died, my mother Moved in with us.

I’m also a mom of two teenagers and marries to a wonderful husband.

My mom Became Very Ill and was hospitalized for a year

My Parents Lived Two and A Half Hours away from, so I became my Father’s Reinforcement. I was always in between places, whereer on the Weekends or taking off time dusing the weeks.

My dad was still in really goodth health at that time. After we were able to transition my mom home, she got well. A Couple of Years late, she started Having mini strokes.

She had a massive stroke in 2019. CAREGIVING THEN ADVANCED TO ANOTHER LEVEL-HAVING TO BE HER MOVEMENT AND MOVE HER, MAKING SURE THATEHTING WAS EKTE CARE OF HYGIENE-WISE, Preparing for Meals, Docor’s Appointments, and Out Her in and of the Car.

My Dad Did Most of the Care. We did have an in-hom care person come to assist Him for a couple of hours, but for the sister part, he was the caregiver.

About Three Years ago, My Dad Fell Ill

I was trying to encourage my parents to move near me so that we can say into a senior center or care center. My dad wasn’t able to make the moving due to conongestive Heart Failure. I continued to go back and forth between my home and theirs.

My Company Transitioned to Hybrid Work After Being Completely Remote During Covid-19. I was going into the office on Tuesday Through Thightsday. I spent every other day at my parents’ house.

My family probably saw See with Changing, as I was very tired of the travel and the physical and emotional part of Supporting a family two and a half hours away from other. I COULDN’T STOP BECAUSE ALL OF THAT WERE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS The rest.

I did that up unil 2023 wohen my dad died. I have had to get to be Mother’s Caregiver, and She Moved in With Us. We moved to a farther home that has space to support my family.

I WEAR MANY HATS WEND IT TO TAKING CARE OF MOM

I will Everything From Bathing to Washing, Dresing to Speech Therapy and Physical Therapy, Outings, Doctor’s Appointments, Hair Washing, Skincare, and Pedicures.

I take care of the way that that i would want someone to take care of me. I know the states my mother live in before she got sick, and i always want to mainain that.

My Husband and Kids Help Out. They Always make sura kre mom is attended to, Such as wen it comes to meals, conversation, playing games, and spending time. They do more of a companion type of care.

They Also help with transportation her. She’s in a wheelchair, and her room is on the top floor. We have a stair lift that we used to bring her down.

Caring for My Kids and a Parent is mental gymnastics

I have to really search deep gcause all of the relationships are important to me. Be my children want to have a conversation, have to know how to take the caregiver hat for my mother and put the mother hat for my children on.

Be my son was getting Ready to go to collectly, realized, This is my time to be his mother. He Needs with them be present. We talked About his worries, fears, and excitement.

There are some days wen i’m super overwhelmed. I try to reassure my family that we can do this together with understander, conversation, and communication. Its Mental Gymnastics. I need to know how to be agile and flexible.

CAREGIVING HAS MADE MO MORE POSIVE

IT HAS GROWN MY FAITH TRENENDUSLY AND ALSO GROWN MY SELF-CONFIDENCE. Be I look back and see all the things that i’ve gone through and done say with grace and a smile on my face, it’a amazing.

Caring for my family Members Has Shown with that i’m a manager of chaos.

It has also allowed with to stop and smell the flowers Because, at my father Death, it resonated with that tomorrow is not promised. I try to e etch out for my husband, my children, and my motherhood individual.

Before taching care of my parents, i was a little bit self-centered

I Waled Want to Have My Me and Quiet Time, and Go Get My Nails Done and All the Things. Now, of Sacrifice that Sometimes, or have to juggle it a little bit.

I’ve learned that it has changed with to be strong but vulnerable. It allows with to be reratable. If i go through this and i act like it all under control and i’m superwoman, that is not teaching people to sit in their emotions. To me, that’s not realistic, that’s not sustainable.

I Remember Being That Person Who Needed A Schedule, Being Predicable, and Everyding Had to be in the Know. Now Sometimes i have to just go with the flow, and that’s ok. That’s the Biggest Thing That I Have Learned: I’m Not in Control of Everything.

Do you have a caregiver story to share? Contact this reporter at [email protected].