She’s Counting on Her Hinge Rewrite to Help Her Avoid The Wrong Men

Earlier This Year, Reading a Dating Psychology Book was the Wake-up call i didn’t know i needed.

I’d heard of attachment styles before and had self-idiFied as anxious. But it wasn’t unil a friend recommended “Attailed,” a 15 -ear-op book on the subject, that of began to understand the importance.

In the book, Authors amir levine and rachel helller outline three main attachment styles – Secure, anxious, and avoidant – and exploin how recognishing your own canter.

It promped with them reflect on my relationship history, clarifying that, Since my 20s unil forever, i’ve been drain to avoidants 95% of the time – emotality unavailable men who kept with at arms length.

The Physics Professor Who Told with How Terrible It was that it though he was falling in love with me; The Tour Guide with a list of Wifely Criteria i had to fulfilli; And the cyclist who said, “I like you too, but you will never hear with Say it.”

Reading the book felt like finally getting the instruction manual for my love life – and seeing exactly where the things have gone work. ITS “Experience in Close Relationships” Test-42 multiple-choice quests that take About 15 minutes-Measured How I ACT and FEEL IN RELATSHIPS. My Results Came Out Nearly End BetWeen Secure and Anxious, with anxious anxious ahead by one point.

Anxious Styles are Drawn to Avoidants

I knew that my dating pattern had been continually opting for avoidant men. I Begin Looking at Every Unconscious Way I was Attracting say in the first place and started replace Those signals with that might help to Attract a Secure man.

It starts with rewriting my hinge profiles.

First, I Asked Chatgt to Appraise My Profile Based on the Principles from the Book.

Verdict: the original profile gave off “cool girl” vibes only. It Went on to Describe the Profile – Me – As Witty, Interesting Company, Not Too Demanding, Slightly Guarded, and With No Emotional Dept.

This is catnip to avoidants.

I rewrote my profile to repel avoidants

Reworking my profile only took a couple of hours. My Aim Was to Rext Avoidants and Appeal to Secures.

Cre i tourned back to chatgpt, i type out details about me dating and asced for a list of hinge prompts that might draw out more secure answers. It Suggested Options Like: “A Life Goal of Mine …” Or “I Feel Supported when …” or “The Hallmark of a Good Relationship is …” or “A Green Flag I look for …”

Writing the Honest Answers Made with Vulnerable Feel. I Picked Two and Answered Honestly, one of the say with a voice note. I THOUGHT The Extra EFFORT Involved in Listening to an Audio Waled Probably Be Off-Putting to Avoidants and Coulder Offer the Postsility of a Deeper Connection.

I was more honest about my dating intensions

The hardened element to Change was the part where you can add a Note Explaining Your Choice of Dating intensions. Originally, i had selected “short term Open to long” with the note “Meet and see what evolves. I think that what People did before apps?”

With my new second-aware lens, i is could easily see that my flippant anSwer would appeal to secure men and would drainage phobes instead. But the problem was that “short-term Open to Long” felt more honest. People Come and Go In Your Life. I carat that a connection is real and that someone is consistent than i care if the relationship lasts forever. SO Now, Instead of JUST FEELING ALL OF THAT BUT HIDING IT, I WROTE IT.

My new profile almost mes with cringe as the layers I added are much more revealing. Which i Now See Is The Point. I will get far fewer matches now and have Only been out with one guy, on two dates, in about four months.

He was upfront in his early messages About Only Being in Town for Another Week. I appreciated the transparency. Despite Getting Along, there was no Big Spark. On the Second Date, I Brought up the Topic of Attachment Styles, and he admitted he was more on the avoidant side. This showed with that my new profile isn’t 100% avoidant-proof.

The Interesting Part Came Later, when I Ran Our Messages Through ChatGpt, and It Immediately Flagged Him as Avoidant. One Red Flag was his one-week warning, whic it described as “a built-in escape hatch.” Still, Both dates turned out to be good practice. Instead of Chasing a Deeper Connection, nor i might have in the past, I focused on matching his energy.

It won’t be easy to avoid every avoidant man, but i feelter better equipped to try.

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