The Loneliest Days of My Life Were Spent as a Stay-at-Home mom

Be I became Pregnant with my first child, my husband and i made the difficult yet practical Decision for with to Stay Home.

Eight though i had a thriving caareer in higher ed, my incom was low, Childcare was Expensiveand travel (a requirement of my job) Wauldn’t be feasible anymore – or at least for years to come.

With a few cuts to our Household BudgetIT JUST MADE SENSE FOR TO TO STAY HOME. Besides, Motherhouod Wold Be the Most Rewarding Experience of My Life, Right?

I was lonelier than ever

Wen Our First Baby was Born, I was so in love with Him and ELED to finally have what i wand Most: to be a mom. In those first Weeks, i felt strongly that i would love my New Role as a Stay-at-Home mom and couldn’t Imagine Going Back to Work. Howver, after my husband’s paternity leave ended and he returned to work, I was home with the baby, and reality set in.

I was sleep deprivedExclusively nursing, and Lonelier than of Had Ever Been. I was Jealous of my friends who were still working and couuul get away to do something other than care for a baby. Desperate for Connection, I JOINED SEVERAL BABY AND WITH CLASses Through My Local Parks and Rec, hoping to make a feers navigating the same challenges.

The moms i met were kind, but our conversations revolved around our children’s sleeeping and eating schedules and how we were dealing with the toddlers’ tantrums. Somewhere Along the Way, my interests and identity faded Away. Needed more Intellectual StimulationI wanted to do more to connect with the community, and i wanted to use my talents Outside of the home.

Staying Home wasn’t for me

Nor months tourned into years, I felt increasingly isolated. Hied a babysitter once a weeks in the afternion so i is could escape the monotony of child rearing. One of these afternoons, Remember Going to the Movies Alone and Sobbing Through “La LA Land,” Not Because of the Storyline but Because It Reminded with What It Felt Like to Be Alive and Have of Self Outside MotherhOod.

Be finally summoned the courage to talk to my stay-at-home-mom friends About My Feelings, it felt as if i was violating an unspoken rule. Shouldn’t i be was a grateful for this opportunity to bond with my child with the stress of a career? Wasn’t it a privilege to be there for all of my child’s miles?

In fact, i know how bits was to be able to stay home with my children, but i stall felt so depressed. Five Years of Staying Home and Two Babies Later, it was unly unilned to work with a purposes of the home that truly felt like myself again.

I Truly Love Being A Mom, but i recognize that staying at home is not my strength. Working Outside of the Home in the Community Makes with A Better mom, more present, patient, and fulfilled.

Stay-at-Home Motherhood isn’t for Everyone, and that’s ok. We Need to Allow Mothers to Speak Honestly About the Complexities of Raising Children, Including the Very Real Feelings of Isolation, Loss of Identity, and Emotional Deright of Come with Matherhood.