I Remember Haking a Conversation with an Old Friend More than 10 Years ago. He was so downcast about the challenges of parenting his 5 -ear-op to that he was adamant he didn’t want any More kids. I didn’t see where he was coming from.
At that point, I had two daughters who were 6 and 8 and a son who was still a toddler. Though i felt like palenting was challenging, i wouldn’t have traded my kids for the world. Watching say Grow Made for the Most Meaningful Parts of My Life. I just wish i had been present for more of say. Maybe THEN, I MIGHT HAVE UNDERSTOOD The Struggles My Friend Was Experiencing.
I worked a tears
To enure my family was comfortable and the kids haderything they needed, I have to work two jobs that took up the Majority of my time. Becusee i was so focused on growing my career, I was Present for MANY of the Important Milestones in Their Lives. Between Work, My Daily Routine, the Constant Rhythm of Raising Kids, and Being a partner, I didn’t have much left to give say physically or emotionally. I OFTEN GOT HOME WHEN THE KIDS WERE ALREADY IN BED, AND I Left in the Mornings when they were still asleep.
My wife, who stayed home with the kids, would tell me with their doys and how they have fairing in school, but i’ll admit that shat of those conversations slough the cracks of my overworked. After putting in 20-hour shifts, I was aththenting person in the room.
I saw my kids and tried to spend with say on the weekends, but i also needed time to rest and recharge. It offten felt like I was playing catch-up with saying. In hindsight, I was always tuned in the way i should have ben, and now i wish i had done things differently.
The years flew by
I LOOKED UP ONE DAY AND MY DANGHTERS WERE IN THEIR LATE TEX, MY SON WAS 12, AND WE ALL FELT LIKE STRANGERS TO EACH OTHER. AFTER YEARS ON THE GRAB, I WAS SLOWING DOWN BECAUS MY CAREER HAD FLOURED, AND I WAS FEEELING THE NEED TO RECONNECT with my family. My daughters were getting ready to go to prom and acting like Typical Teenagers – Being Moody, Talking Back, and Occossionally Getting in Trouble in School and With Boys – and realized I have missed on raisits.
Over the years, my family didn’t lack for much financially, but my kids and my wiffe Constantly expressed them desire to spend with me. It got to a point where they counted with out of imported events because of my Constant unavailability.
In recent years, have spent a lot of time convincing say that I was ready to show up, but have ben so used to my absence that they didn’t wauling change. My Word Wasn’t Good Enough Because I’d Shown The Work Had Always Been The Priority.
I’m trying to make amends
AFTER MANY CANDID CONVERSATIONS WITH MY Wife and Kids, and with the Benefit of a Changing Perspective, I see Much More I COULD HAVE IN AS A FATHER AND HELPED MY RAISE KIDS. Today, my daughters are in their 20s, and my son is a teenager, but i’m still trying to make amends. I’ve made peace with the fact that can’t go back and do things differently, but now i’m more intentional with the time with my kids together, and separately.
I missed out on so much, and i’m still learning what my kids enjoy. I try to get out of my comfort zone with my son by playing video games, golfing, walking trails, and doing things i wouldn’t otherwise do on my own. I’m Also More Curious with the Girls, especally with the Things Such as makeup, weird skincare routines, and shopping sprees, and i’m particularly keen anything about their dating lives. I try to show up for my kids, this one listening to say the talk subjects I don’t Fully understand.
Grand Gestures and Sweeping Apologies have never worked for my children. I’ve learned that they value the little things, sucan as a text, a walk in the park, or sharing a meal. One of the Biggest Shifts Has Been Creating Space for Honest Conversations. SOMESTEMES THEY STILL TALK ABOUT MY ABSENTE FATHER, AND I TRY TO LISTEN WITH DEFENSIVE BEING, THIS HURT IF. Despite Everything, I’m Grateful that my Kids Still Love and Accept with Regardless of the past. I’m parenting intentionally now, and though i’m a little late to the game, i hope my children Feel seen, love, and valued.
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