Woman Hurt When Fiancé of 7 Years Refuses to Spend Christmas with Her Family Yet Again

NEED TO KNOW

• A woman says her fiancé has always chosen to spend holidays with his own family instead of hers

• When her sister plans a rare Christmas visit, he refuses to commit to joining, saying he’ll always prioritize his family

• Now, she’s left at a crossroads as she feels she has to choose between her family or the love of her life

A woman sought advice from the Reddit community after finding herself heartbroken that her fiancé refuses to spend Christmas with her family, even though they’ve never celebrated a holiday together before.

The 23-year-old woman explained that she and her fiancé, 25, have lived together in Clermont, Fla., for six years. Throughout their relationship, she said, the holidays have always revolved around his family. “Either he goes to visit them without me, or I go along with him,” she wrote. “I’ve rarely had the chance to spend holidays with my side of the family.”

This year, things could finally be different. Her sister, her sister’s husband and three kids are planning to fly down from Delaware to spend Christmas in Florida. It’s a rare opportunity for the family to reunite, and for her fiancé to finally meet them. “My fiancé has never met them in person, only on FaceTime,” she shared. “I’ve only met one of her kids in person myself.”

The woman said she hoped to make the holidays special by planning a family trip to Disney with her sister’s children. To make it fair, she even offered to compromise. “I offered to spend Thanksgiving and New Year’s with his family as a compromise,” she said, explaining that they live closer and the couple already sees them frequently.

But when she brought up her Christmas plans, her fiancé’s reaction left her stunned. “He said he ‘doesn’t know’ what he’s doing for Christmas yet,” she recalled.

Because she needed to book an Airbnb before everything sold out, she tried to plan in advance and asked him to decide within a week. But when the week passed, his answer did not change. “His response was still basically ‘I don’t know,’” she said, noting how dismissive he seemed about her excitement to finally spend a holiday with her family.

When she pressed further, his explanation hurt even more. “He told me that any time he gets an opportunity to see his family, he’s going to take it — even if that means he never meets mine,” she wrote. The comment devastated her. “That really hurt, and I ended up crying.”

But instead of comforting her, her fiancé became upset. “He got upset with me for being emotional and ‘pressuring’ him,” she added.

Feeling dismissed, the woman began to question whether she was being unfair for wanting to include her own family in the holiday plans. “I just feel like I’m asking for something reasonable — one holiday, with my family, after years of only prioritizing his,” she wrote. “It’s not like I’m asking him to cut his family off, just to also make room for mine.”

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In the comment section, many Redditors express concern about her fiancé’s behavior and priorities. One top commenter wrote, “NTA but why are you engaged to this guy? He clearly doesn’t care about your feelings or desires.”

The commenter urged her to reconsider the relationship before marriage, adding, “He is making decisions that should be joint decisions, alone and having the final say.”

In an update, OP shared that her fiancé ultimately decided that he wouldn’t join her family for Christmas, although he would pick them up from the airport when they arrived. Despite her disappointment, she decided to move forward without him. “I’ve bought mine and the kids’ tickets so tough luck if his mind changes,” she added.

“I’ll also be bringing up couples counseling, most likely through my existing therapist,” she continued, agreeing with commenters that this may be indicative of bigger problems in their relationship.

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