A man has opened up about his inappropriate feelings towards his estranged stepdaughter, but insists he’s not a ‘dirty old man’. An expert has offered their advice
A man is in complete turmoil over his inappropriate feelings towards his stepdaughter.
Acknowledging his stance is ‘completely wrong’, the man admitted he has ‘romantic’ feelings towards the 22-year-old, despite being married to her mum for 12 years.
The bloke says he’s not a “dirty old man” and wants to stop things developing further. At the moment he’s struggling to be around his “wonderful” wife’s daughter.
He asked Metro’s Agony Aunt for some advice over his situation and explained: “I’ve been married for 12 years to a wonderful woman whose husband left when their daughter was only three. By the time I met her, the child was 10 – old enough to have opinions, and she didn’t like me. I tried hard to form a good relationship with her but she rejected all my overtures; maybe she felt I was taking her away, I don’t know.”
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He explained that even though her biological father walked out on her and her mum, the stepdaughter has always “idolised” him and when her mum and step dad decided to marry, she left to live with her father.
Since then he’s been estranged from his stepdaughter as she never comes over. But he recently bumped into her in a local pub, and she apologized for her behavior, telling him how happy he made her mum and asking if they could start again – which he said he accepted straight away. But things have become complicated as he’s now developing feelings for her.
“What’s tearing me apart is that I now can’t stop thinking about her. She has blossomed into a beautiful young woman, and I’ve found myself having ‘romantic’ thoughts about her. She’s now invited herself over for dinner and wants to make up for lost time. After all these years of wishing we were closer, I actually don’t want her to come,” he said.
The confused stepdad concluded his post and asked: “I have a busy social life and my wife and I have a great group of friends. I don’t come across as a ‘dirty old man’, but what can I do to get rid of these feelings and have a normal relationship with my stepdaughter?”
The agony aunt said he needs to distract himself the second he has an inappropriate thought about her and focus on something else so the thoughts “fade into the background”. They also said he needs to think how devastated his wife would be, and he needs to put her upset above his desire.
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