Oliver Hudson’s ‘Heart Felt Like It Exploded’ During First Panic Attack

Oliver Hudson shared that he had a lifelong struggle with anxiety, saying that his first panic attack made him think he “was gonna die on the sidewalk” because his heart was pounding so hard.

“Anxiety has been a part of my life,” the Rules of Engagement alum, 49, shared during the Nov. 3 episodes of Sibling Revelry, the podcast he co-hosts with his sister, Kate Hudson. While discussing anxiety with their mom, Goldie Hawn, and guest, author Mel Robbins, Hudson said that he takes Lexapro, an antidepressant medication.

“It’s something I’ve dealt with, even the last like ten days,” Hudson said.

Robbins then asked, “When’s the last time you had anxiety?” He replied, “six hours ago.”

However, he explained, “I know how to deal with it. I know what it is. I have a relationship with my anxiety, so it doesn’t take me over anymore. I understand it. Whereas before, I thought I was dying.”

Hudson explained that it “manifests in my stomach for the most part,” and explained that “my twenties, thirties, forties is when I’ve had my, like, big bouts of it. My twenties, it was all stomach. I mean, I couldn’t leave the house without throwing up… it was awful.”

“It was a fear of looking stupid. I didn’t wanna look stupid in front of people. And throwing up like that would make me look like an a——————, and people would judge me. And, you know, so the minute I would get out of the house, I’d feel nauseous. I’d wanna throw up,” he said, explaining that part of his anxiety centered around “trying to be an actor.”

“My sister — she was famous. My parents were famous,” he said, referencing mom Hawn and stepfather Kurt Russell. “I’m just starting. There was a lot of unconscious pressure that I was sort of putting on myself, expectations. I was going to auditions, throwing up outside of the audition space.”

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“I had to fly to New York because I had to read with Laura Linney for this movie,” he recalled, possibly a reference to the 2011 thriller. The Ledge. “I said to my manager, I’m like, ‘I can’t get on af——————— airplane.’ I can barely step out of my home. But I fought through it. I get on the airplane, and now I’m driving down, like, Fifth Avenue. The cab has to pull over multiple times because I’m throwing up. I’m throwing up before the audition. I call mom in the waiting room… I’m just a complete wreck. But I fought through it.”

“I have that too … it was all stomach,” Hawn shared about her panic attacks. “I couldn’t go into public without throwing up.”

Hudson shared that during his first panic attack, “My heart felt like it exploded. I was going to a club in my mid-twenties. And I was like, boom. I thought I was gonna die on the sidewalk. I mean, it was just horrible. And then after that, it started to sort of manifest in my stomach.”

The way Hudson managed it, he explained, was “I was able to sort of meditate through it, journal through it, and eventually had to get on medication for it.” He continued: “Now every once in a while, it’ll pop up. It’s these sort of irrational thoughts, but I understand that I’m not gonna die. I’m okay.”