A mum-of-one has divided opinion after sharing that while she loves her child, she does not think children ‘are worth it’ unless you have three things in place – and it’s divided opinions
A mum has candidly opened up and confessed that she doesn’t think having children is worth it – leaving people stunned.
While parenthood can be so special and fulfilling, it also comes with plenty of challenges. So, before starting a family it is important to consider if you can handle the responsibility, plus the added financial strain.
A debate went viral recently as one mum, Dominiece Regis, was asked the question: ‘Are children worth it?’. The mum, who has a three-year-old son, Levi, gave an initial, resounding no.
The video, which has garnered 665,000 views on TikTok, left some viewers outraged, calling Dominiece and her supporters “bad mothers” – but the mum-of-one says it simply isn’t that simple. The honest woman, who works as an accountant in New York in the US, said: “I do wish I understood more of the difficulties or complexities of balancing parenthood and life beforehand.”
Explaining further, she presented three ‘must-haves’ she believes a woman should have prior to having children, which will make the experience “worth it”. They include: a good partner, money, and a support system.
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However, she went on to clarify that while children will be the “greatest love ever known” with every ‘high’ comes a ‘challenge’ to go along with it. She said: “If you want to have kids and make it worth it, you need the three things.”
Dominiece added: “Here in the United States, it’s very normal for both parents, like my husband and I, to work 40 hours a week, have to drop off and pick up the children, clean the house, cook dinner, do night time routines, entertain and educate the children when they are home.
“Then on top of that, if you’re fortunate enough, and not many people are, be able to spend the money to nurture your relationship with your partner (ie date night), and do family vacations. And on top of that, continue to nurture yourself as a person and mother.”
“It’s quite difficult and it was quite eye-opening for me – and I only have one child for now,” she noted.
Dominiece, who shares her son with her husband, Chad, says: “For the lady who came on the internet and asked all the mums if children are worth it, I’m going to give you a short and quick answer: no, they aren’t.”
The mum also noted that a strong, supportive partnership is key and the most vital of the three, followed by a support system of family and friends nearby, and financial resources to end parenthood. Dominiece added: “But, if you don’t have those three things, then no the kids are not worth it. Don’t risk your life for it, don’t risk your sanity for it.
“You need a few of those things – one to three – hopefully all three, but most people don’t.”
The post garnered more than 75,000 likes and attracted thousands of comments – with many people debating their response. “I got all 3 and my answer is still NO…,” one person said. Someone else added: “Once they’re here, yes. If you don’t have kids, hell naw they don’t.”
But, not everyone was on board with the controversial statement. One person wrote: “I’m a single mom and my child was worth it for me.”
One other said: “I’m a single mom of one, zero village and don’t have a lot of money, but motherhood has changed me in the best way. I regret NOTHING.” Someone else commented: “The amount of mothers saying ‘no’ is kinda scary.”
Another user wrote: “It’s worth it for me. But everyone’s opinions/feelings are valid. I love the woman I’ve become as a result of being a mom. I think being a host for life is special. But that’s me.” Another person added: “I hope I never reach the stage where I think my child was not worth it.”
After noticing the reaction to the video clip, Dominiece commented further. She said: “This video has definitely stirred the pot for sure and it’s to be expected. Talking about children is a touchy topic for most people. However, the video has also opened the floor to be more open and honest conversation about motherhood.
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“I mentioned to make children worth having you need a good, supportive partner, resources – but mainly money, and a support system. You don’t have to have all three, you should, but a minimum of two of the three.
“I have all three, however our main support system – grandparents – are not in the same state as us, so I can recognize what parenting looks like without an immediate village around me. However, I have the resources to pay someone to help.”
She added: “Motherhood or parenthood isn’t meant to be done alone nor should it be just survival parenting either. I’d say 85% of people and mums get it.
“The rest are triggered and don’t fully understand the message, and a small percentage of people think I, and any mother who agrees with me are miserable, hate our kids and are bad mothers. I’m truly not phased.”
Do you agree? Comment below.
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