‘I saw rainbows and forgot I was a mum – now I won’t see my son grow up’

Clare Smerdon, 37, was diagnosed soon after her son Teddy’s first birthday

A woman has revealed how her brain tumor caused her to “forget” she was a mum, after experiencing flashing lights and rainbow-like patterns in her vision led to her diagnosis. Clare Smerdon, 37, was diagnosed with a grade 4 astrocytoma – just weeks after her son Teddy turned 13 months old.

Doctors informed her that the aggressive tumor was life-limiting and Clare was terrified that she would never get to see Teddy grow up. While awaiting surgery to remove the tumor, she confessed she was “acting completely out of character” and “forgot I was a mum”.

However, two years later, she has beaten the odds and proudly watched her four year old son don his uniform and enter the gates of Barton Hill Academy for his first day of school.

Clare, from Torquay, Devon, said: “When I received my diagnosis, I didn’t think I’d be alive today to see Teddy start school. This is such a huge milestone for us. I no longer feel like I am dying and feel incredibly lucky, but I know others may not get the same chance.”

Clare’s symptoms first manifested in early 2022, when she began seeing flashing lights and rainbow-like patterns across her vision.

She said: “I felt even though people didn’t understand what I was going through. I was desperate to find out what was causing the immense pain in my head and changes in my vision.”

In July 2022, an MRI scan at Derriford Hospital in Plymouth revealed a 7cm brain tumor.

She said: “When I got the diagnosis, I remember thinking that I’d just had a baby and I wanted to be around to watch my son grow up for as long as I could. Then the wait for surgery was horrendous. I was losing myself and acting completely out of character.

“I even forgot I was a mum. Teddy spent more time with his dad and we drifted apart. That was heartbreaking.”

In August 2022, Clare underwent a grueling six-hour operation at Derriford to remove the tumor, followed by an intense six weeks of radiotherapy and chemotherapy.

She said: “Two weeks after surgery I returned home and doctors confirmed I had a grade 4 astrocytoma, which is also classified as a glioblastoma. On hearing the pathology results I knew my life was over.

“The treatment made me sick, and I could only stomach a meal in the evening. At the same time, I got to spend more time with Teddy and we were both getting to know each other again.”

A routine scan in August 2023 delivered the devastating news that she had just two to three years to live.

Clare said: “The thought of not being here to watch Teddy grow is destroying. I’m not sure if another operation is something I want due to the implications that come with it.

“My eyesight is already compromised and my speech has been affected, so now I just watch and wait. There are so few treatment options for brain tumor patients and the ones we do have are invasive and often life-changing.

“I’ve looked into clinical trials abroad, but for most working-class families, the cost is impossible. I’m angry and frustrated at how little support and research funding there is.”

Clare has now teamed up with Brain Tumor Research and will participate in the charity’s Walk of Hope this September.

She said: “I want to do everything I can to help fund the research that will lead to better treatments and, ultimately, a cure. If sharing my story and taking part in fundraising encourages even one more person to join the cause, it will be worth it. That’s why I’m calling on the government to increase funding for research into brain cancer, more must be done.”

Letty Greenfield, community development manager at Brain Tumour Research, said: “Clare’s story is a powerful reminder of both the personal impact of a brain tumor diagnosis and the urgent need for change. We are so inspired by her strength and determination. Brain Tumour Research is committed to funding sustainable research at our dedicated Centers of Excellence, but we also campaign for the government to increase funding. It’s only through increased investment that we can accelerate new treatments and, ultimately, find a cure.”

Brain Tumour Research is campaigning for an annual national expenditure of £35 million to bring brain cancer funding in line with other cancers, such as breast cancer and leukaemia.

A JustGiving page has been established by Clare to raise funds for Brain Tumor Research ahead of the Walk of Hope in September.