Fans of a certain age are way too invested in Jennifer Aniston’s love life – me included – and there’s THREE very specific reasons why
Jessica Boulton works on the Mirror’s features desk, specializing in celebrity features and interviews. She also writes a weekly observational comedy column Jess Saying, which runs every Saturday. In addition, she oversees the entertainment pages, helps co-ordinate the Pride of Britain coverage and newsletter and guest edits The Diary. Jessica joined The Mirror’s sister paper The People in 2006, and has since worked on the Sunday Mirror and Now magazine. Most likely to be found raving about The Oscars, BAFTAs, Netflix, Friends or Star Wars.
Daily Mirror Columnist Jessica Boulton brings you Jess Saying, her wry, witty and slightly whimsical take on the heroes and villains, winners and losers and the outright outrageous showbiz shenanigans keeping us amused this week. Now, where better to start than…
WHERE’S THE SPICE? MONDAY
It’s been a mixed week for Girl Power. Pictures from inside Mel B’s glam wedding at St Paul’s Cathedral began appearing on social media on Monday (mostly thanks to Celebrity Big Brother’s Angelica Bell). And it certainly looked like Scary had the perfect day with hubby number three, Rory McPhee. But….While Mel B, 50, looked stunning in a couture gown, I was sad to see the wedding planner had missed some major opportunities to really spice up the big event.
I mean…. where was the leopard print wedding cake? Or the string band playing 2 Becomes 1 as they said their vows? Why wasn’t the bride in white platform trainers? And surely the groom could have done a spicy routine for the First Dance? It’s almost – almost – like Scary didn’t want her wedding to become a Spice Girls nostalgia fest. ( Weird, I know!) .
For, despite spending a reported £28,000 on a glam reception at the Shangri-La inside London’s The Shard, there was something else lacking from the celebrations as well. Well, three things in fact: Mel’s fellow Spice Girls. Only ONE – Emma ‘Baby Spice’ Bunton – made it in person. The others sent their wishes on social media, citing work conflicts. To be fair, this is third time lucky for Mel. Perhaps they just figured they’d catch the next one?
JUST GOOD FRIENDS? TUESDAY
Sound the showbiz klaxon! There was plenty of good news for one of our best friends this week. First the new trailer for The Morning Show dropped, showing Jennifer Aniston and Reece Witherspoon ready to slay another season of the Apple show.
And then came the Internet tittle tattle we’ve been waiting YEARS to hear….Jennifer Aniston is (possibly or possibly not)(italics) in LOVE. Yes, the 56-year-old is rumored to be dating again.
Before you get too excited, Jen is yet to confirm the romance but she also did nothing to stop tongues wagging either – after pictures emerged this week of her on holiday in Mallorca with her super hunky hypnotist pal, Jim Curtis. Social media sleuths have unearthed dozens of cutesy interactions between the pair over the past months. They’ve also been spotted together at a hotel in California’s Big Sur.
So if she does go Instagram official you can hardly criticize her taste. I mean just look at those eyes, I could stare into them all day (risk of hypnotism be damned). But, why is it, I wondered, that so many 40-somethings like myself, are quite so obsessed with Jen’s love life? She hasn’t even gone public with a relationship since her 2018 split from her hubby of three years – Justin ‘Oh my gosh how is h related to Louis?’ Theroux.
But the real reason for our obsession is threefold: Brad Pitt, Angelina and 2005. AKA The Most Infamous Split in Hollywood History™. As any #TeamAniston supporter will remember, it was anything but Jolie. In fact, a certain pair of Oscar winners treated her like the absolute pitts .
And that was the moment that made Jen an cultural touchstone. Every woman – and many men – could instantly relate to the Hollywood golden girl’s heartache. Most of us have been heartbroken by a split. Many of us have seen partners hook up all too quickly with someone new. And here it was happening to one of the most likable and talented stars of the era. In the most public way imaginable. So by the time the Mr and Mrs Smith pair did their infamous ‘happy families’-themed magazine shoot to promote their movie?…….. Wellit was as if they did it to a real life friend, when their tears were barely dry……
Team Aniston fans the world over could empathize: we could all remember a time when an ex had (probably inadvertently) made us feel the same. So of course, we want the sitcom queen to have the last laugh. Because that’s what we’d all want for ourselves….
WALLY OUT WEDNESDAY
While Mel B has had a brilliant week, Geri must have been driven to distraction. For on Wednesday morning, hubby Chris Horner’s 20-year F1 career came to a sudden and screeching halt – as Red Bull Racing clipped his wiiiiings with zero public explanation.
His shock firing came 12 months after Chris was caught up in an alleged texting scandal, and just a month after he and Geri were honored guests at Brad Pitt’s London premiere of F1. The road ahead for the couple is now uncertain. Yet Chris wasn’t the only one reading job ads this week.
Under fire Gregg Wallace finally got the chop, chop, chop from MasterChef – after a seven-month investigation into inappropriate behavior accusations (claims he originally denied). The poor cash-strapped Beeb is yet to comment publicly. But it’s understood they may have no choice but to throw out an entire unaired pre-recorded series of MasterChef. Why? Because there’s no way to edit the rotten old turnip out. (And I don’t mean some bad veg on set).
If the waste of License Fee payer’s hard-earned cash doesn’t turn your stomach enough, this might. For Gregg went on to BLAME the BBC, implying his newly-diagnosed autism was the reason for some of his alleged behavior. Not only is this damaging, disparaging and possibly even defamatory to people with autism, mental health problems and neurodiversities – many charities were outraged – ….but Gregg’s made this whole thing even harder to swallow…. by making himself the victim. Personally I’d say every budding chef he’s ever criticized deserves an apology. For, he clearly has no idea what’s you good keys – and what’s not.
WHAT A PAIR THURSDAY
Talking of job hunting, Gregg may not have to look far for his next gig. Fellow canceled TV star Wynne Evans has announced plans to open his own restaurant – the ‘Welsh House by Wynne’ – in his hometown of Carmarthen, West Wales. The pair met when Strictly’s Wynne appeared on Celebrity Masterchef. So presumably he has Gregg’s number if he needs a cheap pot washer. Who knows? Maybe they can GoCompare where things went wrong.
GOOD, SORRY, GREAT
Is it a bird, is it a plane? No it’s Superman… and his superdog. The DC movie opened on Friday after having mixed reviews. But it was another supersonic pair who also made headlines. For Oasis finally returned for their first hometown gig in Manchester on Friday, a week after reuniting on stage in Cardiff. So were the Manchester crowds still as ‘Mad Fer It’ after the Gallaghers’ brothers 16 years away? One imagines so.
Although after years of anticipation, the Hunger Games-style showdown for tickets, the adrenaline rush of the big night, and the copious amount of Cigarettes and Alcohol being consumed…..For some(italian) fans….it’s probably a bit of a Blur.
JESS A LITTLE QUICKIE
On the ‘ead, mate! Oh, sorry…. wrong sport!
Poor Stephen Fry did an inadvertent header at Wimbledon this week, when an errant ball from Belarusian Aryna Sabalenka caught him right on the noggin. Normally, I’d quip that it might knock some sense into him. But with Fry’s IQ, he’s probably got enough already….
What do you think? Let me know in the comments or via IG/X @JessicaBoulton
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