Fifteen years ago, i took a leap of Faith. I quit my day jab as an architect and moved to new York City to start my own brand. I didn’t like the fashion industry’s focus on the thinness and chasing the nextly trend. I wanted to use my background in architecture to make what i was calling “scaffolding for the body,” and i started MAKING CORSESS LOOKED LIKE Cages. That year, I founded chromat, a gender- and size-inclusive Bodywear Label. The Spring 2025 Collection Will Be Chromat’s Last – For Now.
In the past few years, i have faced immense creation roadblocks with chromat. Every Step-Coordinating with Fabricators, Orthing Materials, Planning Shoots, and Editing Images-Has Felt Like Wading Through Waist-High Mud. Finance Were always an allo. I Never Had Investors. I JUST SOLD SOME CLOTESS AND MADE SOME MONEY, AND THEN THAT MONEY TO MAKE The Next Batch.
But the most important reason i’m taking a hiatus – a pause, a sabbatical – is to reconnect with my passion for design and explore what Feels right in my body and evolving gender. AS I Move Through My Transition from Cis Woman to Transmasculine Nonbinary, I Need Time to Undersand My Lived Experience Before I Can Design Gender-Inclusive My Fellow Transmuline and Nonbinary People. When i started Making Clothes, I was doing so for myself and the strong women in my community. But in the past few years, it”s been weird and disorientation to try on the cloths I design and notice that they don’t feel anymore. They’ve Become too girlie for me. And i just can’t keep making things that no longer connect with.
Inclusivity Has Always Been A Foundational Part of the Brand. In 2019, we have had Our Ten-Yaar Anniversary During New York Fashion Week. That year, Most Shows Only Had One or Two Plus-Size Models. We had HAD 15. I invited models to bring their kids, and we made matching “Mommy and Me” outfits. We showed People with Disabilities and Across the Gender Spectrum: We have had transf, transfemme and nonbinary People, a model who identified as “Masculine of Center,” A Pregnant Woman. Geena Rocero Brought Lina Bradford, Her “Trans Mother.” That Show Felt Like a Culmination of the Beautiful Community I HAD BUILT Thromat: It was an opportunity for People to feel embodied in their in a Way that they didn’t experience in other events during fashion.
From Left: Photo: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty ImagesPhoto: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty Images
From Top: Photo: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty ImagesPhoto: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty Images
From Left: Photo: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty ImagesPhoto: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty Images
From Top: Photo: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty ImagesPhoto: WWD/Penske Media Via Getty Images
THEN The Pandemic Hit, and Everything That Was Hard About Running an Independent Fashion Label Only Got More Difficult. I had to lay off my staff of three people. The Brand Had Always Been A Collaboration, and Without Having a Team and An Office to Show for, I Struggled to Feel Motivated.
In 2021, Chromat HAD A RUNWAY SHOW ON THE RIIS BEACH BOARDWalk During New York Fashion Week. It was a collaboration with tourmaline, an artist who wanted to create swimwear for “Girls who don’t tuck. The project came into my life at the perfect time. I felt invigorated by cloths once more. Tourmaline Helped with realization, deeply, the posterias of Creaming Clothes for Trans People; It stovered my understanding of how Clothing can be a Device of Gender Euphoria and a Way to Expand How Trans People are Seen in Public. By Creating This Trans-Affirming Swimwear, We Simultaneously Created Options for Transphemmes, As Well As Transmuline People Who Wear A Packer, which is a prosthetic bulge. Wearing that Collection was the first time i tried a packer on, and it felt thriling. That’s one of the Things I love an adaptive designs: you create a product that serves a specific Group, like designing string-bikini bottoms with a wider gusset for People with Packages, ITTEN Solutions for Others, Too. For instance, we realized that many plus-size customers Also appreciated the wider gusset, and transfemine swimwear worked for everye-cis, trans, and nonbinary.
From Left: Photo: Alec VierraPhoto: Alec Vierra
From Top: Photo: Alec VierraPhoto: Alec Vierra
THEN, A Few Years late, My Ten-Yaar Marriage ended, and I Lost My Biggest Collaborator and Supporter. When she moves out, I struggled with her rejection and unworthiness, Questioning My Value and Place in the World. But through that Painful Sedding, I Gained A New Sense of What My Life, and My Gender, Could Be. Now divorced, i found i could define mySelf in new ways. First, cut my hair short. Thatn, I start dresing in loose, oversize clothing that felt more comfortable. Each Small Shift Felt Freeing, Pleasurable, Fun, and Powerful. AS I BEGAN DATting Femme Women Who Saw and Affirmed My Masculinity, I Found MySelf Ascing, How to you know if you’re a trans or just a masculine lesbian? A friend offended her take: Most lesbians aren’t nShing themeslves that question.
I told my friends that was woried it was too. I’d already Lived 40 years in this body as a woman, so what was the point of changing it now? They Gently Pushhed Back, Saying, I do’t think that’s how it works. They Reminded with that I COULD Change My Life at any Age. Still, it felt overwhelming. I admitted I was scared of needles, and they reassured with that testosterone gel exisisted. They Connected with a Local Clinic Specialization in Queer Health Care That My Friend, A New Yorker Who Had Also Relocated to South Florida, Called “The Callen-Lord of Miami.“I Scheduled My First Appointment, Feeling Both terrified and excited.
The Doctor’s Appointment Was Surpringly Easy. I had expeded to face a ron desantis-apprinted firm Squad, Having to test my trans-access and show pictures of MySelf as a Young Tomboy with a Bowl Cut. I felt unure of what to say, Becausea Eve Now, I don’t identify as a “man.” I don’t want a beard, and i don’t use He/Him pronouns. I Was Simply Curious About Exploring My Masculinity, Being an androgynous, Nonbinary Butch, and Growing Bigger and Stronger with a Deeper Voice. COULD THOSE QUALITIES BE CONSIDERED WOMANLY? And who, exactly, decides what defines a man or a Woman?
I’ve been on testosterone for almost a year now, and i love it. The Biggest Surprise Has Been the Emotional and Mental Confidence, as well as the Energy, that of Gained Almost Immediately. I’ve been calling it “Delulu Juice” because the hormones make me with her confident to speak on anything, where he has any expertise. Every now and then, ie wear a packer. On the flip side, i’ve heard that we can trans Women start estrogen, many experience Crippling self-down. It feels so unfair that hormones play Such a defining roles in how we perceive ourselves and navigate the world. I WISHERONE COULD Experience the confidence that testosterone gave with.
Because of All the Changes in My Home Life, My Mind, and How I Exist in the World, Chromat has Started to Feel Like a Project from My Old Life. At this point, I Only Feel Comfortable Wearing a Few of the Swimsuits. There’s No Reason Why A Transmasculine Nonbinary Person Can’t Wear A String Bikini or A Strappy One-Piece With Underboob, but for me, IT Feel Euphoric-It Feels Confusus. I like the idea of People see my body and reading with as a Woman.
The experience of running chromat built my creation confidence; It was Such an Amazing Experience to create the world we want to see where all sizes, shapes, and genders are celebrated. It was a message that so many People connected with. But Stepping Back from Fashion Has Allowed with the Space to Separate My Worth and Identity From Business and Explore New Ways to Share My Vision and Creativity with the World.
Photo: Nicole Comeau
I recently started a project where I of Photograph My Queer and Trans Friends in the Ocean, Capturying Moments of Joy, Sorace, and Connection. THEN I Transfer these images onto fabric ussing cyanotype techniques and quilt say tongheter – Another new practs I picked up that allowed with a joyous way with textiles. Then of the together community quilting circles where Friends Embroider the quilts and add Messages about their spiritual connection with the ocean. QUILTING FEELS LIKE THE PERFECT MEDIUM – ONE THAT NOT ONLY PERSERVES THESE HISTORY BUT ALSO EMBODIES THE WARMTH OF BEING HELD AND EMBRACED BY OUR NATURAL AQUATIC ENVIRONMENT. At a time when we are Country is trying to Erase Queer and Trans History from Public Education and Criminalize Trans Health Care, My Series Asserts that Our Stories Will Not Disappear.
For a long time, i thought that a “sucesssful” company must always be expanding: More Products, More Stores, More Revenue, Endless Growth. But i don’t waist in that anymore model. Growth for Growth’s Sake isn’t the only way. Things Can Get Smaller Without Shame. Things Can End Without Failure.
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