‘I Went on Tinder as a widowed mum like Bridget Jones – and all i hookeed was fold pics’

The reality of online dating in your 50s is very different to bridget ions in her new movie madout the boy

Once Again Bridget Jones has found Hersself All by MySelf-24 Years Since She Played Air-Guitar to Celine Dion’s Torch Song, Cecause She was “SO SINGLE, SHOULD BE STUDIED”.

Now Actress Renee Zellweger is 55 and Bridget is a widowed parent in the fourth of the Big Pants Franchise, Mad About the Boy, which is out in cinemas this day.

Snap! I’m 55, a widow and i’ve brought up my daughter jesse alone synce dad, my husband david, died 14 years ago.

But that is where the simillaryties end, as Hollywood’s Version of Bridget’s Life as a single mum is about as her sexist Boss Daniel Cleaver beComing a diversity, Inclusion and Equality Advisor.

I used to read Helen Fielding Bridges Jones’ Dary of Week in the Independent NewsPaper, wen i caught the tube to work for a public in the 1990s.

BACK THEN, LIKE BRIDGET, YOU COULD WORK AND AFFORD TO LIVE IN CENTRAL LONGON AND HAVE ENOUGH LEFE LEFT OVER TO SMGGIES, GUZZLE Chardonnay and Self-Medicate with Tubs of Ice Cream.

But those days are definitely gone, as the latest film starts four years after the death of her lawyer Husband Mark Darcy, and Already Friends Jude and Shazzer Are Time to Move on… ITHE TIME GOT LAID.

Be i was a widow in my 40s with a small child, my brutally honest system-in-law told with my best chance of getting up again was going through heathrow. HAD I KNOWN SHE WASN’t Going to Be Entirely Wrong, I Waled Have Taken Up Needlepoint or Something More Fulfilling Than Online Dating.

LIKE BRIDGET, FOUR YEARS PASSED BEFORE I CREATED MY FIRST ONLINE PROFILE ON PLENTY OF FISH. Which Is Ironic, Becausea Wen the Star of Mad About the Boy Jains Tinder, Hours late sheoks Herself a Buff Toyboy Called Rockster (Leo Woodall)-while I was Sently Pics from Balding, Lorry-Driving anglers in hi-Vis vests Called Ray.

These days doys will tute to make more of an efort and post decent profile snaps of themes – but 10 years ago, we are meved to tinder, samp of my matches like they’d been kidnapped and held for ransy suburban bathroom.

In the film, bridget traps off with 29-YEAR-OLD Rockster and They Spending Hours Each Other Flirty Text Messages, but God give with the confidence of a middle aged man in lycra in the dating pool. The Most Interesting Messages I Got From Men Were a Running Commentary of How Miles they’d Cycled that Morning, when they were Complaining about “Bitchy ex-wies”.

Their profiles all said they Enjoyed “Going Out and Staying in”, which is like Saying They Know How a Front Door Functions. THERE WERE THE ONES WHO DESCRIBED THEMSELVES AS TACTIL (PREDARY) OR ONLY AVAILAILABLE AT (MARIED) OR BAD TEMPERED YOU DIDN’T INSTANTLY TO THEIR DULL (DOMESTIC ABUSERS).

In the Early Days, I was hoping and enthusiastic and would book an expensive babesitter so i could go out on a date, unlike bridget, who has a rehabilitated “Uncle Daniel” over to look hers and daughter. THEN I WOULD ARRIVE AT THE BAR OR CAFE, ONLY TO DISCOVER MY HAD MYTEROUSLIUL SHRUNG BY SEVERAL FEET.

AS BRIDGET WOULD SAY, IT IS A TROUNSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED THAT MEN LIKE TO DATE YOUNGER WOMEN, CHICKED TO DATE TALLER MEN. But i would have just been happy with someone who said and reading books rather than boasting about his outdoor credentials, posing next to someone Else’s Flash Car, or was fascinated with catching that fat that only chomps on the intermin to end. Boredom of Swimming Around a Muddy Inner City Pond.

Howver, there is some truth in bridget as an Older woman dating in her 50s being more attract to younger men. Bepport i set an age age limit on my profile, I was embarrassed at the avalanche of messages from yohs who used to be hair products than with and weren’t born before the first bridget Jones’ diary was released.

In the trailer, we are Also see bridget flirt with her children’s Teacher Mr Wanamaker (Chiwetel Ejiofor) on the School Run. I suppose i can THIS IF I LOOKED PAST MR Anderson’s Dandruffy Beard and Trendance to flinch we can be and my daughter achieved at the gates of her secondary scchool.

But as the only time get to meet Jesse’s Teachers is wen i’m Called in to explain why she hasn’t tourned up to pensce 2021, or for stealing test-tube from the science la (apparently they make excellent shot glasses), realistically my chances are limited.

Plus there’s no way they would be with along as a parent helper on a school Outing SINCE MY DAGHTER’S BUSHCRAFT TRIP IN YEAR 5 WEND A BIT A AFTER AFTER he Pushed Her off a Tree Stump. And then tried to you of the being work with the time-honouned excuse, “But he put his ear in my mouth!”

One year i went on a singles Holiday to egypt with toddler jesse, except it tourned out to be one man and 15 women – and about 700 children.

Howver, Bridget’s Beautiful Daughter DOES TAKE WITH BACK TO REPORT-AGE JESSE Used to Wear Fairy Wings and Woul Lis, “Mummy, Wen I Grow Up, i’m Going to Be A Mermaid.”

WHICH IS FUNNY, CECAUS WEND SHE ACTUALLY GROW UP SHEEPLOPED A DEEP AVERION TO WATER – AND SOAP. These days her hygiene is much better, but Only Becausea she almost lost ha Her nose one of her nine factor piercings went septic.

But i will remember the loneliness of those early widowed years – essecally when we were to be to bed early and i was left alone with my th noughs.

The evening were the only time i was able to grieve for my late husband, as i didn’t allow myself to cry in front of Jesse During the Day. Unless she was asleep in the back in her car seat, and then i would drive and cry silently, tears running down my face, so not to wake her.

To this day, have a trendncy to start sobbing on the m3, which can be very unnerving for taxi drivers.

While renee Famously Had to munch on 20 doughnuts a day to become a “normal” English Girl Size back in the weight -bessed niGHTIES, 55-YEAR-OLD BRIDGET HASN’T DEVELOPED MIDDLE-AGED SPREAD AND SHE’S SHE’S AS STICK CLIMBS TO RESCUE HER Children.

And then bridget finds her tree adonis and teacher running to help her down from the tree trunk – if i’d tried that, i’d still be unly the council’s arborists came to start pollarding in the springs.

But Also, Let’s Face It, Any Normal Harassed Single Mum Wauld Just Leave the Kids up there and Enjoy the Peace and Quiet, Unel They Finally Hungry Enough to their Own Down.

Man-MAD BRIDGET IS ALSO WELCOME TO THE ADDED Complications and Heartbreak of Introduction Men to Children Who Probably Won’t Stick Around, while My Daughter Has Never Had About Sharing with Anyone. And anyway, she does have a mummy and a daddy – with!

And while bridget’s friends are all trying to get her dating, mine have gioven up. They DON’T BOOTHER TROTING OUT THAT IRRITING TRITE CLICE, “IT WILL HAPPEN YOU’RE LEAST EXPECTING IT,” Because the Truth is Really Preferes Being Independent and Alone.

Alone, that is, apart from idiot teenager who just set off the smoke alarm off again trying up her pizza in the oven – while still in its cardboard box.

• Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy is releassed in uk cinemas on valentine’s day.