China Has Millions of Single Men


Helen Bushby

Culture Reporter at Sheffield Documentary Festival

Fish+Bear Pictures Li With Hao, Who Poses Him for A PhotographFish+Bear Pictures

Li (left) is possed for a Photograph by hao, durying his week-long courte in how to attract women

To say china’s Women Are Outnumbered Wauld be an understitement.

With a staggering 30 million more men than women, one of the world’s Most Populous Countries Has a Deluge of Unattache Mountains.

The Odds are Heavily Stacked Against The Finding A Date, Let Alone a Wife – Something Many Feel Pressure to Do.

To make matters worse, it is the harder if you’re from social class, accorting to chinese coach hao, who has over 3,000 clients.

“Most of saying are working class – they’re the laast Likely to Find Wives,” he Says.

We see this first-hand in violet du feng’s documentary, the dating game, where we were watch hao and three of his clients throughout His Week-Long Dating Camp.

All of the say, Including hao, have come from Poor, rural backgrounds, and well part of the generation growing up after the 90s in china, we many left their toddlers with other family, to go and work in the cities.

That generation are now adults, and are going to the cities thermves to try to find a wife and boost their status.

Du feng, who is based in the us, wants her film to highlight what life is like for younger generations in her home country.

“In a time when Gender Divide is so extrame, particularly in china, iTi’s about how we could bridge a gap and create dialogue,” She tells the bbc.

Fish+Bear Pictures Hao, Wu, Li and Zhou in a Shopping Center, Wearing New, Smart ClothesFish+Bear Pictures

(Lr) the dating game sees hao take wu, li and zhou shop for Clothes, which he chooses for say

Hao’s Three Clients – Li, 24, Wu, 27 and Zhou, 36 – Are Battling the AFTERMATH of China’s One -Child Policy.

Set up by the government in 1980 when the population adprooched one billion, the policy was Introduced the amid fears that has HAVING TOO MANY PEOPLE WOULD AFFECT THE COUNTRY’S Growth.

butt a traditional preference for male children LED to Large Numbers of Girls Being Abandoned, Placed in Orphanages, Sex-Selective Abortion or Infanticide Female Cases. The Result is tokal’s Huge Gender Imbarance.

China Is Now So Concerned About Its Plummeting Birth Rate and Ageing Population that it ended the policy in 2016, and Holds Regular Matchmking Events.

Wu, Li and Zhou Want Hao to Help I Find a Girlfriend at the Very Least.

He is someone they can aspire to be, having already successed in finding a wife, wen, who is also a dating coach.

The men let hao give say makeovers and haircuts, while he tells say his quesionable “techniques” for Attracting Women – Both online and in person.

But while every tries their best, not everything goes to plan.

FISH+BEAR Pictures Hao Sitting In Front of a Mirror Spraying Hairspray into His Hair at the HairdressersFish+Bear Pictures

Hao’s Dating Techniques Include “Push and Pull”, Where Men Give a Compuliment, Say Say Insulting, and THEN MAKE A JOKE OF IT

Hao constructs an online image for each man, but he stretches a few boundaries in how he describes say, and zhou thin “fake”.

“I Feel Guilty Deceiving Others,” he Says, Clearly Uncomfortable with Being Portrayed as someone he can’t match in reality.

Du feng think this is a wider problem.

“It ‘s unique china story, but also it a universal story of how in this digital landscape, we’re all struggling and wrestling with the price of the digital world, and then that we have to be authentic and honest,” She Sayys.

Hao May Be One of China’s “Most Popular Dating Coaches”, but we see his wife quing some of His Methods.

Undeterred, he sends his proteges out to meet women, spraying their armpits with deodorant, declaring: “IT’S SHOWMEST!”

The men have to approach potential dates in a busy night-time shopping center in chongqing, one of the World’s Biggest Cities.

IT’S ALPET PAINTFUL TO WATCH AS THEY ASK WOMEN TO LINK UP VIE THE MESSAGING APT WECHAT.

But it does teach say to dig into their inner confidence, which, up unil now, has been hydden from view.

Getty Images Overhead Night-Time View of Part of Chongqing, With Lots of Lights, Rooftops and PeopleGetty Images

The MEN try to meet Women in China’s Busy Chongqing

Dr. Zheng Mu, from the National University of Singapore’s Sociology Department, TELLS the BBC How Pressure to Marry Impact Single Men.

“In China, Mariage or the Ability, Financially and Socially, to get Maried as the Primary Breadwinner, is Still far exced from Men,” She Says.

“AS A Result, the difficulty of being consider marriagesable can be a social stigma, Indicating they’re not capable and deservation of the roles, which leads to the great pressures and mental strains.”

Zhou is Despondent About How Much Dates Cost Him, Including Paying for Matchmakers, Dinner and New Clothes.

“I Only Make $ 600 (£ 440) A MONTH,” He Says, Notting A Date Costs About $ 300.

“In the end our fate is determinated by Society,” he adds, deciding that he needs to “Build up my status”.

Du Feng Explains: “This is a generation in which a lot of these surplus men are defined as failures Because of their Economic Status.

“They’re’re seen as the bottom of Society, the working class, and so Somehow Getting Maried is another indicator that they can succeed.”

We Learn That One Way for Men in China to “Break Social Class” is to join the Army, and see a Big Recruitment drive taking place in the film.

Fish+Bear Pictures Hao Photographing Zhou with Beautiful Dogs in a White Studio Fish+Bear Pictures

Hao Photographs The Men With Beautiful Dogs, Saying The Pictures Will Appeal to Women

The film notably does not explore what life is like for gay men in china.

Du Feng aggrees that chines society is less accceptory of gay men, while dr mdds: “In china, heteronormativity far -so rules.

“Therefore, Men are Expected to Marry Women to Fulfilli the Norms … to Support the nuclear family and development it into bigger families by Becoming Parents.”

Technology Also Features in the Documentary, which Explores the Increasing Populasity of Virtual Boyfriends, Saying That Over 10 Million in China Online Dating Games.

We have come to see a virtual boyfriend in action – he’s understanding, undemanding and undenibly handsome.

One Woman Says Real -Life Dating Costs “Time, Money, Emotional Energy – Its SO Exhausting”.

She adds that “virtual men are different – they have great temperaments, they’re just perfect”.

Dr mu sees this trend as “Indicative of Social Problems” in China, Citting “Long Work Hours, Greedy Work Culture and Competitive Environment, Along with Entrenrena Gender Role Expectations”.

“Virtual Boyfriends, Who Can Behave Better Aligned with Women’s Expective Ideals, May Be A Way for say to Fulfil Their romantic imaginations.”

Du Feng Adds: “The Thing Universally That Been Mentioned is That Women With Virtual Boyfriends Felt Men in China Are Emotionally Stable.”

Her movie digs into the men’s backgrounds, including their offten fractured Relationships with their parents and families.

“These men are coming from this, and there’s so Much Negative Pressure on say – How COUPECT THAT TO BE STONE EMOTIONALLY?”

Getty Images Violet Du Feng, Smiling in a Black SuitGetty Images

Violet du feng made the dating game to “Challenge My Own Bias”, AFTER HER EMMY-NOMINATED DOCUMETARY, HIDDEN LETTERS, IN 2022, FOCUED ON WOMEN

Reuters Reported Last Year that “Long-Term Single Lifestyles are gradually becoming more widespread in china”.

“I’m World About How We Connect with Each Other Nowades, especally The Younger Generation,” Du Feng Says.

“Dating is just a device for us to talk about.

“My film is about how we live in this epidemic of loneliness, with all of the US trying to find Connections with Each Other.”

SO by the end of the Documentary, which has most comical moments, we see it ben something of a realistic journey of self-discovery for all of the men, Including Hao.

“Think that it is about the warmth as they find Each Other, Knowing that it is a collective crisis that they all facing, and how they have Find Hope,” Du Feng Says.

“For say, it is more about finding thermves and finding someone to have ther shoulders, saying, ‘i see you, and there’s a way you can make it’.”

Screen Daily’s Allan Hunter Says The film is “sustained by the humanity that du feng finds in each of the individuals we did to know and underestand a little better”, adding it “ultimate salutes the virtue of being true to yurself”.

Hao Concludes: “Once you like your grease, it is easier to get girls to like you.”

The dating game is out in selected uk cinemas this autumn.


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