I chose solo travel over Motherhood; Did i make the right decision?

On Most Sundays, I Walk to the Beach in Playa del Carmen, Mexico, With a Papaya, Blackberry, and Banana Fruit Bowl Packed in My Bag. AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS OF SUN, SAND, AND SALT WATER, I GO HOME, SHOWER, AND CALL MY DAD.

Our Conversations Are Usually Quick and Light: How’s Life? How’s Business? What’s for Dinner?

But one recent sunday, my 70 -ear-op Father shifted gears. He wanted to discuss HIS END-OF-LIFE WISHES: BURIAL PLASS, The House, and the Family Heirlooms. It wasn’t a sad conversation, Just Practical.

Still, after we hung up, i panicked. My Father is My Last Close Relative. When he’s gone, i won’t just grieves Him. I’ll be facing the full weight of the being alone in the life i happy created.

I BUILT A SOLO LIFE ABROAD

I’ve Lived ABROAD SINCE 2018, Traveling Solo Through 10 Countries with an overstuffed backpack and a duffel of prized possessions. I original planned a three-month trip to thailand to reset my life, but it tourned into something bigger.

This wasn’t my first adventure abroad. In my early 20s, I Nonied the Peace Corps and Served in Togo, West Africa, where i met my now ex-husband. I always poisons a vision of US Traveling Throughout Africa Together with a Kid or Two in Tow, but the Marriage ended after eight years. I met another gentleman who also promised with that one day we’d travel the world together. AFTER FIVE YEARS, I HAD To Face the Fact That It Wold Never Come to Pass.

At 40, I was Still Single and Childless, SO I Chose MySelf. I Mved Abroad and Haven’t Stopped Traveling Sine – Building a Life I Love.

No Amout of Freedom Prepared for this new Kind of Fear

I Believed for Years That Building A Life Abroad That Was Full of Sunrises on New Beaches and Friendships Across Cultures Wold Be Enough to Last of My Life. And it was, unil that sunday call.

My Dad’s Casual Conversation About Mortality Rattled Me. His voice has always been an anchor, a living thread connecting with them my roots. The though of LoSing Him Triggered Something Deeper: WHO WAUDED CARE FOR WITH HE”S GONE? Who will be in my corner whhen i need help? WHO WOULD REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY A FACEBOOK REMINDER?

I realized something more sobering: the chosen families and vibrant friendships i’ve built abroad may not be on my sides we are my time to pass on.

Its not about regret. I don’t regret chooking freedom, travel, or a child-free life. I’m Grateful for the Woman i’ve Become. But Facing the eventual loss of my father a new chaPter in my life, one in which i undersand that i need to create an Evest root system for myself.

Now I’m Creating a New Vision for the Future

SINCE THAT conversation, i’ve started reimagining my future.

Instead of drifting from place to place, i’m laying foundations for something more permanent. I’ve my sights on san miguel de allende, a colorful artists’ town in central mexico Known for its Creative Energy and Strong Community Ties.

I Dream of Buying a Spanish Colonial Home Where I Store My Collection of Medicinal Herbs in Kitchen, have my favorite cookbooks and travel memoirs in the living room, and host Dinner parties Around the pizza oven in the back. Having a Home Willp With Build Deeper Relationships that Extend Beyond Passing Travel Companions.

I’m also dedicated to improving my spanish so i can truly connect with neighbors, swiming wave hello from acroSs the street. I want to be invited to family dinners and become part of the Local Fabric – Not JUST A Visitor Passing Through.

This moment isn’t about fear overtaking my life or regretting my deciss becase i’m proud of the solo life i’ve built. Rather, It”s About Choosing to Live More intentionally than of Ever have before.

Now, as i approach 50, i’m learning that chooksing freedom also means choosing to anchor mySelf in new Ways. The Next Chapter of My Life Won’t Be About Wandering; It will be about belonging.

Halona Black is a Memoir Coach and freelance Journalist Who Writes About Food, Travel, Well-Being, and Spirituality. She can be be reached on Linkedin.