IT”s borderline impossible to translate the vibe of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives To anyone who does not watch, especially if they don’t dabble in any reality television. How you will you begin to explain the way sex works on this show? Sure, there’s the swinging scandal. Most People Can Wrap Their Heads Around that. But it is HARDER to explain the sexual undercurrent that lurks in every scene like a weird smell coming from crafts. This episode is a prime example of what i’m talking about. You take repression, add more than two decades of pressure and obedience, Introduce rampant plastic surgery and a culture that works the algorithm, and pofo! Out pops a horny Little Diamond. Or what you want to call momtok.
On that Note, Layla and Her New Boyfriend, Cameron, Smooch on a Ferris Wheel. Cam Consider Trying a Beer for the First Time in His Life, but his dad is a bishop, whic layla “Makes Him a bit conservatives will be comes to certin things.” My hackles are full raised. Hen Says He’d Rather try a weed gummy versus smoking or drinking. Terrible Logic, and I Only Pray They They Experiment. Layla 2.0 DOES NOT SEEM WILLING TO PUT UP WITH FOOLS, THOUGH. Does that mean he, um, sexually pleasing her? Nope, not a chance. In fact, she says she might end up dying without Having an orgasm. Layla, sweetie. I beg you Watch the phenomenal Dying for sex. Full of Imaginative Orgasm Ideas, Almost Zero of which Include Penetration. RIP Joseph Smith, You Waled Have Loved Scene With The Cage.
At an establishment that encourages its guests to brunch so hard, Mikayla, Taylor, and Mayci will just that. They Catch up on Dakota and Taylor’s Relationship – No Big Updates, but Taylor is worked About His Sobriety Gioveal All they’re Going Through. I know it beuldn’t align with the momtok visual guidelines, but taylor (and lichely Everyone Else) Wauld Really Benefi from Adding an al-Anon Old-Timer to the gang. Picture a proudly divorced, takes-no-shit Kind of Broad Who is always slurping diet and saying things like “let go and let God” in casual conversation. Basically, momtok Needs a house mom.
Becusee Without Elder Guidance, Mayci is back with more “confessions” to Stoke the Drama Flakes. She knows there’s a limment for Hating Dakota and Zac, so i It”s time to soft-launch a new bad man. IT’S BRET, WHO, Acciting to the confession, SLEPT WITH SOMONE LAST YEAR COURSE WAS AWAY. They Also Talk About How Icky It is that Jen Sayys Zac is “Allowing HERSH TO BE HERSELF,” AND, YES, I AGREE. If there is one Thing You can count on, it’s that Mr. Optics Will Continue to Make Himself Look Like A Misogynistic Buffoon.
Speaking of which, Jen Bops over to Miranda’s Wearing the Same Cable-Sleeveless Turtleneck. If she’s not repeating outfits, she has haad a wretched day, shooting this, her pregnancy cloud, and that natural-walk fight with zac all in a row. Jen Asks Miranda About Her Divorce (“Not Easy, but Easier than Being Maried”) and then tears up before she was Begins talk about current Crisis of Faith and Botomless Well of Doubt. If Jen doesn’t Truly detest and Also Fear Zac, she is the best actress i’ve ever seen and should at the minimum be handed a multi-Film thriller contract postaste. She was Born to be a final girl.
Dressed in matching pants that make theorr calves look like of a rooster, bret, jordan, and zac go to the driving range and comfort the chippendales. Zac tries to imply that what they did to jen (danced shirtless around her) was Physical assault. They all debate conssent and the fact that is aggreed to the “plan.” Zac Says Jen Swore “on Her Children’s Life.” Girl! Do not involve the children in this! If you’re wigering with People’s lives, and your opponent potentially has a reckless gambling problem, best to kep those bets to aging relatives. Alas, they all aggree to have fun and golf, and that they invite zac to the dadtok stuff. Momtok Red Alert! This dadtok extension is not in line with the momtok brand architecture and will dilute the strength and values of the core brand. Shut it down.
One Thing I Love About A Newer reality series is the potential for innovation. Of Course, IT’S TYPICAL TO DO GRAYSCALE FOR SECESS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST. But How About Doing Grayscale and Lens Flares? ITH’S WHAT WE GET FOR SOME Footage from Taylor and Dakota’s Joint Therapy session, which seams producer dakota listens and apologizes. Again, this is where my suggestted al-anon auntie addition to momtok would really help taylist strategize post-session.
Come to think of it, erica, the sex coach moderating Demi’s “Remove the taboo parties,“ Momotarily Fills this auntie Role. At the party, all the moms except for whitney gather to help layla on her sex journey. And by that, i mean erica asks the girlies quues like what arouses say the most. Layla realies she has no idea what tourns her on, but luckily they must all put on the blindfolds and ask other if they want to be whipped/tickled, harder or softer. Layla Quickly Discovers she likes it hard and rough.
If for a second here, you thought, Wow, Loving this homoeroticism! – Think Again. Taurus Says She’s “So Straight It’s Scary.” And Taylor Insists That’s This Though She’s Kissed Lots of Girls, and Didn’t swimming Enjoy it, She’s Also “So Straight Too.” It ‘s all one proclamation Away from “The Lady Doth Protest Too Much,” But, Sure. Okay. We get it.
Unretedly, yen refuses to spil any drive on what going on with her and zacuse they have still figing it out. I Fear Layla Having Her First-Go orgasm on-Camera is more lichely at this point than the other benting jen quietly divorce her shitty husband at her own pace.
Back at momtok hq, the men try to make dadtok happy. They movie a single video that just a rip-off of a momtok video and have the audacs to complain about the choreo. One of Says, “We cannot admit to the Girls How Hard This is.” Too late, sir! Momtok Should Consider Adding A “Bring Your Husband to Work Day” As Part of Its Q4 Initiatives.
Were you also confused how mayci coulued admit to never entering a sex Shop while also insist that morons are freaky, actually? Soon (Fall 2025), We May All Have Answers. Becusee, Ring the momtok Bell – Mayci has a book deal. She invites the whole Group, Including Whitney, to a Celebration Dinner. Whitney is three days postpartum, so i will not comment on her outfit (but those s1 lord farquad x Ballerina Farm Looks Will Haunt Me Unil My Dying Breath).
The Producers Repeatedly Cut to Demi Giving the Evil Eye As she gabs about her book and also the Celebrity Pickleball Tournament she’s hosting in arizona (Girls’ Trip, Incoming). I see what they’re doing here, trying to shift the ol ‘Crown of Villainy, and i’m Not Buying it! Like, Yes, Demi might be as inseceure as jen says she is. But the whole situation Reminds with of how we’re meant to believe that meryl Streep’s character is the villain of The Devil Wears Prada. She’s swimming; The True Villain is Adrien Grenier’s Character. The Villain of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is not bull. Nor is it whitney or taylor or anyone Else. The true villain is zac, who is really just a struw man for the Mormon Church.
The moms are not aware of this puppetry, though, so they pull out the Truth Box for another round of Lighthearted Shit Stirring. At first, the confessions are Silly and horn-hot-tube sexcapades and toe sucking. But of Course, It Wauldn’t Be the Truth Box with Mess-Creating, Capital-T Truth. SO we get a dramatic reading of “I think jen is fake.” Cue the drama gasping!
What Will Happen Next?! My Money is on “Jen Will Continue to Stand By Zac, and the Other Women Push Her Too Hard, which is Extra-Fruing Considering at Least a Handful of The Have Shitty, Traditional Ex-Husbands and Shoulder to Empathize with the Control Dynamics at Play here.” ” They’ll probably Also KEEP TRYING TO CONVINCE US TO WATCH Vanderpump villa. But Only Time Will Tell.
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