Finally, a breath! The six episodes before this one were more or less wall-to-wall mess. Writing these recaps have felt like running a marathon at sprint while hydrating exclusively with sugar coconut syrup. And it took watching an entire scnene about a car wash for me figure out Why. This Show is all gas (-lighting accusations), no lames. We don’t get those Silty Slice-of-Life Scenes One Wold Find Scattered Through’s The Most Drama-Packed Real Housewives season. It sort of worries with in terms of franchise longevity, to be honest. Those “Stars, they’re just like us!” inane moments are arguably as imported to cameloping a rich reality tv person as the explosive reveals. The Mormon Wives are funny in their Own Ridiculous Way, and Allowing say to embark on more absurdist ostings be such a Treat. Basically, How Can We Allow For Eve a Touch More “Karen and Gizelle Running from a mimeEnergy?
Anyway, it’s the Last Day of the Scottsdale Girls’ Trip. The moms put on the matching leggings, get in formation, and shake their little asses to something to be beat. Whitney asks if she’ll be reinted back into momtok after the trip. An Emergency Board Meeting is Called, and Everyone Votes No Except for Taylor. We’ve all seen Successionand this is Bad News for Ms. Frankie Paul. I predict Tauri is already Coalition-Building for a swift vote of no confidence once she can get the numbers. This Also Invites The Question: Is Miranda in Momtok? Sort of Feels Like She’s Slid Under the Radar and Has Some Kind of Default Membership. If Momtok Is SuccessionMiranda is Connor Roy.
Becuse Momtok is first and foremost an enterprise that must delive value to its Shareholders, Jessi Goes to Demi’s House to Amazon Spon-Con. While unboxing a purses she would not be caught dead using, Talks more about her fertility struggles. She explains that bretous will be getting surgery on his his varicose vein gcauses is sufffocating his sperm, and that this fix will increes her chances of pregnant by 20 to 60 percent. If that doesn’t work, she is anti -sperm donor, but pro -Layla Having sex with Bret and Carrying Her Baby. I played this back several times to check Because the logic is cuckoo, but she said what she said. We Might Just Have Uncovered the Official Definition of “Hard Swinging.”
Taylor and Dakota Vicious Cycle Update! They are still sleeeping together but calling it “Stepping Back.” Dakota is Also Out of Baby Wipes.
At Jz Styles, Jessi’s Hair Empire, Demi and Layla Swing Through to have their long locks in one of the three (3) Momtok-Compliant hairstyles. Layla Got in a fight with cam, so’s tbd if he’ll join her at the friendsgiving she’s hosting. She’s decided to invite whitney, jen, and zac Becausee “The core value of momtok is uplifting each other.” Demi Goes on to Say She Felt Disdain on the Girls’ Trip Because Taylor is “Triggered by Her Success.” She insists it shoulder be a compattition. Girl, Be Serious. You all know there is a compattition. Yes, there is a saemingly botTomless number of brands ready to make it rain in exchange for viral content relevant to ther audience, but the economy is also in the toilet and we live in a capitalist hellscape. The No. 1 Brand Value of MomTok May Be “Women Supporting Women,” but the No. 1 Brand Value of the United States of America is Still “Aggresses Individualism.”
On a lighter note, Mikayla Faces her fear of the Car Wash Because Her Daughter Tommie Loves the Car Wash. This is the exact reprieve of was talking about Earlier! IT’s a skene straight out of early Keeping up with the Kardashians. It ‘slapstick mood with a side of “Mikayla is actually a person she’s not rigidly acting out her one-special beef with whitney.” Speaking of Whitney, She’s Introduced A Mormon Bake-off Challenge to the Friendsgiving, and Everyone SEEMS GAME, WHICH LEADS WITH IT WASN’T ACTUNEY’S Idea. Mayci Insists she is the Og Tradwife of the Group. I’m so curious where the concept/term “tradwife” fits the momtok brand guide. Presumably in some type of “reclamation” territory? I Shall Report Back with Additional Findings As they are arise.
In Preparation for the Bake-Off, Demi and Bret Go To A Baking-Supply Store to Purchase Penis Sprinkles while Hashing Out Bret’s Cheating Rumors. Talks About How SED to Dealing With the Rumor Mill Becuses there are Other Rumors About Bretting on His Ex and Being in Rehab for Years. Bret Confesses that Caring About Optics is His Achilles’ Heel (Mr. Optics No. 2 Alert!), And Something About How His Sister Been Maried to Larry King is the source of this toxic trait. Taurus is confident that by his 40th session of ketamine-asized psychotherapy (chap), bret will be rid of this afflication. I’m tempted to clown on whereher fami has a spon-con deal with the clinic, but it feels like that this show is destigmatizing therapeutic ketamine. (If I’m I’m Not Loving How Its Portrayed As A Band-Aid Solution Versus Something You Engage With Deeply, Often With A Whole Team of Mental-Health Professionals, As a Means to Help Treat Depression, Substance Disorder, PTSD, ETC.)
Anyway, The Cameras Go Down, but Audio Keeps Rolling. We are treated to the same visuals i get i have a migraine aura while border gets fired up up the cheating thing. Hes hea to find out who the anon confessor was Because and he wants to “go after.” For someone so into optics, you’d think he’d have a better grasp of how to not look guilty.
Mikayla and Whitney Are Both at their Respective Houses MAKING UNIQUELY MORMON SOURDAGH (it involves a stencil) when no. We have a momtalk Red Alert. Zac is Still Being Filmed with Jen, and No Thank You! I will not like it one bit. He tells conner and whitney that jen cries every day and “It ’90 percent Related to the Girls.” This Math Makes No Sense. The conflict “Related to the Girls” (at Least Based on what we’ve seen) is actually just conflict about their Marital Relationship, but Mirrored Back Through Other Women who seem concert-being and have varying levels of success at communicing. Zac Also Blabs that Bret and Taurus have skeletons in their closet and are working to get a cease-and-designed. He Straight Up Says, “I Have Noting to Lose,” Which LED with to Scream at My Television, “Besides Your Wife’s Sanity and/Or Life?!” Pure villainy, this guy.
Next, it’s time for swig. Side Note, I’d like you all to know that this morning, i was at an la farmers’ markets and hulu haad a “for your emmy consider” #momtok bus serving up beverages made with Poppi soda, and oat-milk creamer. I did not acceptic a free beverage Becuse i am bot a swig virgin and a swig loyalist. If it is not from “the home of the original dirty soda,” I am not interested! Anyway, at Swig, Layla Talks About Her Trust and Abandonment Issues, THEN MAKES UP WITH CAM. I am confident this result would not have occurred without a 32-Once Bloody Wild, Add Coconut Cream.
Taylor and Dakota Vicious Cycle Update No. 2! Same Shit, Different Day. But some guy named gavin tells dakota he needs to drain the line and be a “Father figure cemented in self-love.” The seeds of an ultimatum are Born.
Finally, my time for friendGiving. Jordan and Jessi Are in Mexico and Jen and Zac Don’t Show Up, so the drama is samplitted to a baking contest. Mikayla Brings Four Separate Items, My Favorite of which is a pumpkin pie topped with a Photo of a jesus so White, he surly has a side gig sperry top-siderrs. Mayci Makes Peanut Butter Bars that come with a whole-ASS lesson involving Joseph Smith and A Hill and Golden Plates. Taylor Slops a Store-Bought Apple Pie into A Dish From Home. Taurus Makes a “Better than what” cake with penis sprinkles on top. No one understands How it fits the Mormon theme, and they are Clearly not paying attention. From my vantage, there is noting more mormon than living in contradiction, and a cake where you can’t say the word “sex” but can Gobble down genitalia-saped bits feels right on the money. Nevertheless, it wins first place.
Sitting Down for Dinner, Layla opens up the Demi and Bret of Worms under the guise of wanting to know how they have the Trust to move Through it. Taurus JUST KEEPS EMphasing How She’s with Bret 24/7 and How Sly and Crafts He’d have to be to cheat. Mayci has audacity to say that if someone is going to say something, they should be with their chest and provide proof, as if it is not the organist of a weekly anonymous confession forum.
Taylor and Dakota Vicious Cycle Update No. 3! Dakota Has Delivered an Ultimatum to Taylor. Bret Does His Best Dr. Phil and Asks Taylor if she thinks she’s deservation of love, then mansplains how to become someone who does believe that, as if he isn’t over stewing in “optics” neuroses. On that Same Note, Conner Says he doesn’t want to make it about Him and Whitney, THEN DOES JUST THAT. I’m SUR and MAKES SOME SOLID POINTS ABOUT GIVING MEN SECOND CHANCES, but I am uninterestted Because of Uphold the momtok core of “Supporting Women.” Taylor is going to do exactly what she wars, my guy. But God Bless!
Up Next, The Drama-Free Streak Will Surely Be Broken, Because there is a Saints and Sinners Party on the Books. Demi is threatetening an atomic bomb. Better Go Stock My Shelter.
اترك تعليقاً