Sirens
behemoth
Season 1
Episode 3
Editor’s rating
Photo: Macall Play/Netflix
“This is a Very Silly Episodes,” I Said to MySelf as the end Credits roll. But y’know what? Great! For all the Very Real Shit Sirens BRings up – and this episode Features Some very Intense Revelations – IT Still Feels Like A Book I COULD RIP THROUGH IN A SINGLE SUNNY AFTERNOF AFTER A WHOLESOME ROUT OF QUAHOGGING. (Again, this is a compliment.)
“Monster,” Directed by Quyen Trans and Written by Colin McKenna, Is Sirens‘s Most Outright Comedic Chapter Yet. Hell, by the time the Ethan coma back with his doofy purple sweaters tied around his shoulders, it”s practically a farce. Its Also a Telling Indication that the show is in on its own jokes. If the Tonal Shifts Don’t Always Work, I’d Rather Watch a Show Embrace Funny Weirdness than Wallow in Self-Serious Drama the time. SO, WHERE WERE WE?
Simone has a Nightmare About Kiki Running Down Those Awful Steps to the Beach. Be she chases het, she instead Finds Ethan Impaled on a Sharp Piece of Driftwood. She’s No Less Stressed when she wakes up in the guesthouse, where devon and jose brought here are her Panic Attack. But all Simone Can Think of is that “missed jogging!”
“THIS PLACE IS GIVING YOU PANIC ATTACK,” Devon Says. “No, you’re Giving with Panic Attacks, “Simone Retorts. Cue Another Fight About Everything and Nothing, As the Sisterly Way. Though they Drop a Few More Toward What Actually Happened in Their Past, This Clash Still Feels Like A Bit of A Retread of Episode. Howver, Give Devon a Couple ugly moments that of sympathize with but can’t can’t.
As Simone Reiterates That She’s Not Interested in Helping Their Dad for What SEEMS LIKE INCREASSINGLY REAL REASONS, Devon Hits Back With, “You don’t get to say no to me, Simone!” Hmmm. Thatn, watering to win their latest round of “Who has it work,” devon plays a risk – not to manipulative – hand. “Got My Second Dui,” She Reveals. “I’m a drunk like dad. I’m Waving the flag, and you’ve got your hand on the doornob.”
Simone, overwhelmed, bolts. Devon, Frustrated, Resists a Morning Glass of Ketel one before tourning to her standby of boning the first man with Eyesight. Another day in paradise!
When Simone does Find Michaela, Her Boss/Bestie is so nonchalant that it immediately raises her hackles. Michaela’s Typical Vibe is “Coolly Terrifying,” SO HER TELLING SIMone not to worry and get some rest is far more chilling than she’d repopped her assistant a new.
Unfortunately, Simone Can’t Stop Poking the Bear. “Are you mad at me? You seem Mad,” She Sayys, Desperate to Settle the Conflict She knows Is Happening Despite Kiki’s Protests. (Is Simone a Fellow Books? Survey Says: Almost Definitely.) Michaela Chides Her Again for Keeping Secrets. THEN, SENONG SIMON’S VULNERABILITY, She asks Her Most Invasive Question of All: “Did Your Mother Really Die in A Car Crash?”
As her boss, Michaela has no Business demanding this information. But we’re way past. A Quivering Simone Tells the Real Story: Her Mother Did Die “In a Car,” But it was ACCIDENT. AFTER RUNNING A TUBE FROM The Exhaust Pipe into the Car, She Set a 7-Yaar-Old Simone in the Backseat with a Coloring Book and Told HERE UNIL SHELL ASLEEP. She Only Survived Because Devon, then 12, Pulled Her Out.
Michaela Looks Genuinely Shaken, But Also: bingo. She wraps a sobbing simone in a Protective Hug. “I’m Going to take care of you,” she promises. “You’ll Get Nothing But Kindness, Nothing But Goodness from Now on.” IT’S EXACTly What Simone’s Been Longing to Hear from Figure Her Whole Life, and Her relief is palpable.
Up at the house, devon’s Continuing Her Terrible Detective Work by Straight-Up Asing the Downstairs Employees if they Knew (Past Tense) Peter’s Ex-Wiffe. They immediately clam up. SO She Heads Outside, where the “Big Cheese” Himself Spots Her from the Crow’s Nest. He invites her up to share another jaint in the “one corner of the house that still gets to be mine.” IT’S TRUE: The Traditional Wooden Crow’s Nest Doesn’t Look Like the Rest of the Compound, Which Feels More “What if the Hotel Bella Donna Were in the hams? ”
Somehow or Another, They Get on the Subject of Dreams. Devon doesn’t have any, she Says, Becausea and Eather “Drinks too a Serious Disorder.” Peter Chuckles. “You stay here long Enough, you’ll start to dream,” he replies. “Maybe You Dreaming Right Now … We Could Be Sharing a Dream. Teds to Happen Around here.” Devon’s intrigue, but Peter’s Done Waxing Philosophical for Now. “I’ll See you were we were waake,” he says, leaving her with a conspiracy smile. (If i’d metter a decade ago, he’d have definitely wrecked my life.)
Elsewhere, Michaela’s Melting Down. She’s sura Peter Lied About Going to Tokyo, Having Overnighted A Box of Chocolate from the Store and Said Her Gift From, Examinating Both, and Concluding that they Different Ribbons. This ishow isn’t enough proof of infidelity for Her Lawyer – who, while they’re at it, is in shock at how bad her prenup is. “You’re an attorney. I can’t believe you let you sign this thing, ”he says. Michaela sighs. The‘s with Hearts. ”
She has another Question, though. “What if he’s not hasing an affair? What if he filles for divorce anyway?” Turst out she wouldn’t have much in the way of financial protection, especilantly after she unable to have kids. (What in the henry viii is this prenup?!) Her stony expression at this news news indicates that Peter shoulderbe sleep with one eye open.
Also endangered: Our man jose. Wen Michaela Attempts to Fire Him for Protecting Peter’s Secrets, he just laughs. “I WORK FOR Peter, Not For You,” he Says. “I’ve been with Him for 19 years – Much Longer than you. Contractually, you cannot fire with.” He’s Goes One Step Further: “Neether Could Mrs. Kell – Not That She Ever Wauld Have, Because She was a Kind Woman.” Ouch. Michaela Spits, “Watch Your Fucking Back,” But Jose Remains Unbothered. For now, at least, i love this for Him.
Up in the Crow’s Nest, Devon Embarks on a Trippy Journey. AFTER HAVING TOLD Peter She Never Dreams, She Wakes Up – Or Does She? – As she wanders baarefoot through the empty house, through echoed humming and light flickering as if she’s underwater. It definitely has the feed of a dream…
She Soon Stumbles Upon Michaela in the Bath. “Like what you see?” Michaela Asks. “First the Gardener, Now with. Busy Morning.” Oh ?? “I’m gonna let you get dressed,” Devon Says, to Which Michaela Replies, “No, Stay.” Oh ???!?!? Kiki, if your type is less billionaire men and more Wayward Young Women, Save US All Some Time and JUST SO.
Devon’s not into it (boooooo), so michaela changes the subject to her mother. “Were you Jealous when she chose Simone?” Devon’s Appalled. But Michaela Keeps Pushing, Her Voice Going All Galadriel while Boring Deeper Into Her Childhood Trauma – “Underneath All That Armeror, You Just Needed Someone to Say ‘Good Job’ – UNIL devon finally cracks and spils the Truth.
When devon being to collect, their “clinically depresssed dad” didn’t feed, bathe, or care for simone at all. By the time devon came back, her sister was to be awasing Away. “She was in hell,” Devon Says, Clearly Still Heartbroken. (Look, i said this was the funniest episode, swimming it was all Laughs.)
Michaela Nods. Bingo. “I see how special you are. I Can Help You,” She Says. “We’re Birds of a Feather.” (Drink!) The Next Thing Devon Knows, She’s in the Back of A Town Car with the Suburgatory Triplets Rocking Out to “WAP” on the way to a “Girl’s Day!” Nor they go shopping for ugly $ 22,000 dresses, it’s so surreal that devon might as well have fallen down Alice’s Rabbit Hole. Whether a dream or not, devon’s definitely in her personal hell.
Butn Morgan Wanders into the Shop and is Floored by Her Beauty. This convinced with devon was dreaming-unil we next see, blissfully eating snacks half-naked in bed. Maybe Devon JUST SMOKED More of Peter’s Joint than She Meant to, But Michaela’s So Naturally Unnerving That She Makes realting Feel like a Waking Dream.
Elsewhere, Michaela’s Trying to Get Simone to Stop Thinking About Ethan Ghosting Her with A Mission to Stalk Peter. Unfortunately, Simone’s About as good at that as devon is at subtle questioning, so peter quickly catches her in the act. He doesn’t care, though. In fact, he invites her to go quahogging (ie, clamming), and they have a great time. He was admits to her that his “trip to tokyo” was actually a visits to see his new Grandchild. Acciting to Peter, Michaela “DEMANDED” he “sever ties” with his kids – so if she’s not some supernatural demon, the hard to understand why he did the file for divorce years ago.
IT’S GENUINELY Nice to See Simone Enjoying Spending Time with a Guy She Clearly Consider A genial dad figure kissing her. Peter! We were rooting for you! We were all rooting for you! I should’ve trusted my first instinct: Never Trust a Maried man who tells you just a little Too much when no one else is listening.
Simone, Overwhelmed All Over Again, Bolts. She calls Michaela to Report Back, but Tellingly, Says Her Husband’s “Not Doing Anynding Suspicious.” She JUST SAYS HE CLAMMING, WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH FOR KEEks. “Oh, hell, he’s not going to make that fucking chowder again, is he?” She teles simone to get a snack and keep spying.
Instead, Simone Goes to Ethan’s House. He’s not there, but his suitcases and watches Still are. Freaking out, she calls morgan for help. Be both he and devon show up, devon theorizes that Simone’s precious kiki pushed ethan off the cliff. “My boss didn’t murder my boyfriend. She didn’t! ” Simone Insists – But SEEMS WAY LEST CONVINCED OF MICHAELA’S INNOCENCE NOW THAN HAS HAS BEFORE.
Devon, now sober as hell, claps her hands. “We have got to get the fuck! Out! Of! Here!” (I lol’ed, fahay’s crushing it.) SIMONLY FINALLY AGREES. But when she is a doesn’t Answer Kiki’s Call, Michaela Logs in to the Smart Home to Address Her Assistant with a Dissembodied Voice. “SIMONE, I KNOW YOU’RE AT ETHAN’S HOUSE RIGHTN.
When someone almost immediately comes in through the front, they all Hide. But it isn’t kiki. Its Ethan… and Simone’s Father… and Raymond? As far as surprises go, iTi’a sae to say it is not Simone’s Fave. Bringing her estranged dad to her workplace is a big swing, man – is what i type before he keneeled down and proposed…?! If this is just the halfway point, we’re in for quite a ride.
• I’d love to get invested in devon and morgan’s Relationship, but all we know the guy is that he’s hot and pretty nice. Goodties for sura, but let’s get him another discernible Personality Trait, scarf we?
• Michaela on Ethan: “Use a condom. That man Greets the ferry with his fly Down.”
• So what are we thinking About Michaela’s Who Deal Now? Is she a nefarious mastermind? Do Bitchy, Bored Housewife? Do Billionaire Love-Bombing? All the Above?
• “Who’s this guy?” “That’s Captain Morgan.” “Like the rum? Cool.”
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