The High-Achieving Millennials Waiting by the Mailboxes for their Report Cards in the ’90s Are Now Parents… and They Still a, it appears. A viral tiktok trend is gaining momentum with one Common theme: Testing your parenting skills to see your lessons, lectures and the values you instilled in your Kid “workhed.”
In some of the video, parss test theyir kids to see they do they respond to “Toxic” parenting phrases like “Kids should be seen and not heard. In one tiktok shared by Sunkissed mamafor example, the mother starts with a prompt (“I brought you into this world …”) and asks her tween daughter to finish the sentiment. “To be your bestie?” The Girl Answers, Much to Her mom’s delight. The Children’s Innocent Responses and Unfamiliarity With These Old-School storms suggest, as parss puts it, they “growing up with increasingly patient and underestanding parants- Parenting Phrases. ”
A Few Years ago, it was “Candy Challenge” Making the Social Media Rounds. Parents Put Out a Temptation, Such as a Bowl of Candy, Leave the Room and TELL THEIR CHILD TO WAIT UNIL THEY COME BACK TO EAT THE TREAT. While not all kids are able to resist the temptation, the challenge saw Many marveling moms at How Patient Their Little Ones Were.
You Might Also Recall The “Cuddle Your Kid Challenge”(Aka The” Lap Test “), Which Shows What Happens When Parents Lay their Head on their Child’s Lap. For the Most Part, Kids Responded with an embrace in a wholesome dysplay of parent-child.
Big Little Feelings Founders (and Yahoo Life Parenting Ambassadors) Deena Margolin and Kristin Gallant See the Being Being These Videos As Positive, Demonstrating a Shifting Narrative in What The Youngerments of Parents Care About.
“These trends are stricting such an emotional chord becuse they reveally something beautiful: we’re active rewriting the script of how we panted,” The Duo Shared in E -mail. “When Kids Finish Those Phrases with Kindness or Humor – O or Toddlers Calmly Wait for a Cookie – IT’S More than Cute, Its Healing. It Shows the Generational Cycle is BREAKING, and it is a powerful Reminder that the Kids are going to be. Better than we think. ”
“AS A Therapist, get what these are so appealing,” Adds Erin Pash, a therapist and the ceo of Pash Co. “They’re entertaining, they validate your parenting choices and let’s be honest: WHO DOESN’T LOVE THEIR PARENDING ‘WINS’ GET SOME LIKES AND COMments? Raising Tiny Humans. ”
But why will modern-day parses feel the need to prove they’re good enough? And can these Challenges Really TELL PARENTS if they’re doing this parenting Thing the right way? Here’s what Experts Say.
WE ARE PARENTING IN A Competitive Landscape
The Pressure is on for Today’s Parents. You’re Competing with Other Families for the Best Schools, Campps and More. Your Kids’ Toys Should Be Carefully Curated and Made Out of Natural Materials, Not Plastic. You can’t just make you know to school with a sandwich in the era of nutritious, colorful, Instagram-Worthy Lunch Boxes. IT’S LITTLE WONDER THAT they have been to see they have measure up … and then share the results on social media.
“We are living in a time of highly performed and compatitive parting, so it doesn’t surprise with that these Challenges are trending,” Melinda Wenner MoyerA Science and Parenting Journalist and Author of the Soon-to-Be-relayed Book Hello, Cruel World!tels yahoo life. “Research suggests that intense parenting – the notion that we should pour as many resources as we can intto ours” Development – is now the norm all social class. ” Wenner Moyer Adds: “Rising Economic Inequality Makes It Feel As if Raising Kids is a Zero-Sum Game. Parents worry that if they don’t rais the ‘right’ way, and parent ‘thaneertene Else, Their Kids won’t have a chance.’
Social Media’s Influenza
That’s though it can feel like a Competitive Space, with that, Parenting itself Can “solitary in natural,” psychiatrist Michelle dees TELLS YAHOO LIFE. That loneliness can send parents to find community (or commiseration) on social media. “Tiktok AFFORDS PARENTS WITH THE MUCH-NEEDED CONNECTION TO OTHERS AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO REFLECT ON THEIR PARENTING APPROACHES THAT SHAPED BY AN INTEPECTED DIGital World,” Dees Says.
That can includes participating in viral parenting challenges, though dees notes there is a “social performance” at play here. In these videos, the parses are “transforming intimacy” – a moment between themes and their child – “Into Social Spectacle.” For some, it is a less about the kids’ Answers and More About Jaining the Conversation and Showing Their (Often Validating) Results to Others.
Oksana Hajerty, an educational and desklopmental psychologist and dean of the Center for Student Success at Beacon College, Raises Another Concern: while these Challenges Can Offer “Insight and Humor,” She’s Wary of Including Footage on Social and Reminds Parents Thats Thesese Are “Essential permanent. ”
We have want to know we are doing it ‘right’ – But a Challenge Can’t Determine Your Parenting Success
While by the appeal of these Challenges, She’s ALSO WORKED WITH UPSET CLIENTS WHO HAVE TRIED THESE TRENDS. “I’ve consolds who felt like failures when their toddler immediately grabbed the Candy other Kids Waitedly, not realizing that impulse Control Develops differently in every child.
Parents who have a heartwarming moment with their kids as a result of these challenges will understandably want to say that on the back. But Kids are Kids-and there shouldn’t be any shame attached to a toddler, Say, immediately wolfing down some jelly beans, not leaning into a cuddle or not deliveing a cuteswer to a fill-in-the-black challenge, adds wenner. She recommends taching these trends with a grain of salt.
“These videos suggest that if your kids happy to know Certain Parenting Phrases, you’re a Bad parent,” She Says. “That’s JUST SYLY – there are many reasons kids might know these popular phrases that have nothing to do with how they have been parenthed.”
Wenner Moyer adds that the idea that you have “failed” as a parent if your child is unable to resist Candy is also simply illogical. She Points to Simillar Videos Modeled AFTER The “Marshmallow Test” In the 1960s, which tried to connect a child’s self-control as a preschooler to ther success years late. “But Recent Research Has Called the Validity of Those Findings into Question, “She Says.” And a tiktok Video is swimming A Controlled Experiment Capable of predicting A Child’s Future. ”
Ultimately, Wenner Moyer Wants Parents to Face Less Pressure, Not More. “I worry that these trends will exacerbate our epidemic of Parental Anxiety and Fear, and Make usheel more Competitive with Other Parents,” She Says. “But parenting isn’t a zero-sum game. We shoulder be pitting ourselves and our kids against other;
Other Ways to Check in With Your Parenting
PARENTING IS TAGH, SO IT MAKES SENSE TO WANT TO KNOW YOU YOU ARE DOING. “I’d Encourage you to get Curious about what you’re really seing,” Pash Says. “Validation? Reassurance? Connection? These are all valid Needs, but there are more meaningful Ways to gauge your parenting impact.” Here’s what she recommends:
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Watch Your Child, Not Social Media: “Watch for How Your Child Regulates Emotions, How they Treat Others and How they communicate their needs.”
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Check in with your Relationship: “Can your child be authentic with you? Do they do to you do they do they have hurt or scared?
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Presence Over Perfection: “Remember, good parenting isn’t perfect paraenting – iT’i being present, respective and Willing to repair you make Mistakes.
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